This year is almost over and it’s time to do some much needed evaluation before 2024 creeps in on us. I will be the first to say 2023 really shocked me. I thought my life was going in one direction and it did a full 180 on me! Do y’all remember playing Red Rover as a kid? You would try to run through their arms to break the hold. Well I feel like as I was running to break free from the craziness of 2022, they (2022 & 2023) decided to clothesline me and now I’m on the ground with the wind knocked out of me. I’m legit re-evaluating my whole life, like what in the actual heck happened!

Nevertheless, I picked myself up from the ground and dusted myself off. I’m no punk! And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, you will get knocked down a few times. The question is, will you stay down? I laugh at the new phrase, “life be life-ing” because if it weren’t, we would be dead. It comes down to finding something that grounds you, and in my case it’s God. Having a sense of self through His eyes allows me to feel I have the strength to press through. The devil really be thinking he’s doing something, but he can’t keep you down if you have your mind on the only one who can reach out His hand and pull you up after each knockdown.

Another thing I’ve learned this year, is that a sound mind is a powerful thing. I’m so glad the devil didn’t take my mind! Mental health is so important, and this year I learned why the hard way. This is why having God’s Word is key to sustaining your mind. Whatever you think your actions will project that. A phrase I’ve been using lately is that “no man is an island.” We need each other and that’s okay to have people in your life who encourage you to become your best self. You better believe that’s going to be much needed in life. 2023 may not have ended the way I hoped, but I press through because God is not through blessing me. 2024, I’m ready for you and I won’t back down.

As I’m embarking on a new journey of my fourth life, I have come to realize that life is full of lessons. I say that because I keep having recurring dreams about being in school. I attribute it to the fact that God wants me to learn some lessons, or possibly many. One of those lessons is learning from my mistakes in Atlanta. The most important thing is that if I want different results, I have to try different things. This is mainly about meeting new people, embracing new adventures, and staying positive. I’m the type that needs to be connected to people, I’m an extrovert and no man is an island. The average American moves twice a decade. In a 4 years span, I’ve moved to 3 different cities and twice to a new residence in Los Angeles and Atlanta. That’s 5 life changing events.

As they say, life has been life-ing and I’m cool with that because of it wasn’t that means I’d be dead. I expect life to have its ups and downs, but I feel I need to stay prepared and make better choices going forward. My own personal choices led me to Houston and I feel like it started rough, but I can easily recoup if I get connected to my people. I need to create a life that I don’t need escaping from, so that requires being open to new things. That means I look on TikTok, Eventbrite, and Instagram for ideas of what to do in the 4th largest city in the country. And let me say, there’s soooo much to do here! I need a new hobby besides going to the movies and restaurant hopping.

Everyone seems to think I enjoy relocating from place to place. Simply put, I do not. I want to settle down with my kingdom spouse and have healthy babies and sit down somewhere. I like traveling, not picking up and moving for the heck of it. So I have to be intentional about Houston. I lost myself after my situation in Atlanta, and I’m ready to get back to ME! I have to actually leave my apartment, talk to people when I’m out, and go places after 5pm. I go and sit at the bars of different restaurants and go to brunch, but people tend to go out when it gets dark. That’s my problem, I want to be in the bed. But that’s boring and unhelpful in making new friends. If you want something different, you have to do something different. I’m keeping my hopes high and very appreciative of those I’ve already hung out with. Houston, it’s time to see what you’re made of…don’t disappoint!

Even when you’re pushed, it’s okay to not take the bait and just walk away. Too many times I took the bait and tried to prove myself and ended up going back and forth. As they say, when two people are arguing you can’t tell who’s the fool. It may be hard, but your mental health depends on it. Self awareness is very important in relationships of any sort, along with healthy boundaries.

Have you ever looked up your name to see what it means? I looked this up years ago and it made me chuckle. I’ve known that I wanted to be a counselor of some sort since I was in the 10th grade. I was always helping people and giving sound advice and I loved it. Come to find out, the name Monica means advisor, wise one, or counselor depending on which website you look on. I even give that little tidbit of information when I go on interviews so they’ll remember me better. I enjoy getting to know people and seeing how I can be of service to them in all ways, whether with friends or on a specific job. It’s my calling and purpose in life.

A lot of people search for their purpose in life so they can figure in which direction they need to go. Due to my religious background, I figured out my spiritual gift is encouragement. The term Exhorter is specifically used, as well as the gifts of Mercy/Compassion. But lately, I’ve been depleted and my compassion fatigue is at an all time low. I’ve been going through some transitional periods and just feeling like a big change is needed. I’ve moved to a new city to start what I’m deeming as my “fourth life.” And I still feel like something is off. I’ve been praying and asking God to reveal to me what needs to be done and still waiting for clarity. You get to a point where you ask, “God are you listening to me?” It’s a tough phase.

I have grown to ask myself lately, am I listening to God. That’s the real question and you have to be very honest with yourself so you can make wise decisions and experience greater. I’ve been toiling over my career decisions for months now, and I think that it’s time to use my skills in a new setting. My job is very taxing (and often off topic of counseling) and I’ve been looking for different ways to use my current skill set and still encourage people. It just comes so naturally and I think I want to start vlogging. It’s been on my mind heavily and even though I’m not leaving my job, I want to feel more of a service than what my job is affording me.

When something is weighing on your heart heavily, it’s good to explore its possibilities to see if that’s what direction God wants you to go. I’ve always felt compelled to share words of encouragement on a big platform. Maybe that’s what God is putting back on my heart because I feel greater is coming. Either way, I’m going to keep my spiritual eyes and ears open to receive what the Lord has for me to do. I always pray that He orders my steps, but I need to be willing to walk in His way. Keep praying for me to be the hands and feet of Jesus and operate in love with a soft heart. And watch out for me and my vlogging really soon. Be sweet.

Well everybody, it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve moved to Houston. It was a ROUGH transition, but God has never failed me yet and He didn’t start in Texas! I always say that the devil only attacks what’s of value. I consider myself high value being the child of The Most High God. It was only an inevitable that the enemy wanted to steal my joy. To be honest, he’s been going at me all summer. This was probably the worst summer of my life and the enemy took advantage of that.

Break ups are tough! I think this one was one of the worst simply because I had higher hopes for the turn out. I mean, I go into all relationships being serious and thinking it will work, but this was different. I think because we were so close and were best friends that it was a real doozy. I was just down in the dumps that we weren’t heading in the direction that either of us thought we would. I have no negative feelings towards him, and I truly only wish him the best. But I have to trust that God knows what He is doing and trust His plans. After all, they are for me to prosper according to His Word.

I never thought I’d move to Houston. To be VERY honest, I thought I would be moving back to Atlanta to mend my relationship. After that wasn’t the best option, I figured I had to do something. You know I feel “stuck” in Collierville, especially after seeing glimpses of what the world has to offer. But now that I’m here, I’m making the most of it. I’m going out, smiling, dressing up, and enjoying life. I deserve a soft life after these last few months, and that’s exactly what I’m going to give myself. Houston, we better not have any problems because I know the Ultimate problem solver. I will survive and eventually I will thrive. Keep praying. Be sweet.

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: But the LORD delivereth him out of them all.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34‬:‭19‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Go big or go home! Well, BIG sounds like a good idea to me, which is why I’m moving to Houston, Texas baby. I bet you are just as flabbergasted as I am, so let me enlighten you. Everything is bigger in Texas, so they say… I’m going to find out for myself. Sooo… Atlanta didn’t quite work out on all ends, so after a little rest in Collierville, I decided it was time to make another bold move. You know how I say “do it scared.” But I’m not really scared this time around, just a little anxious on how this new city will turn out. I always go in with a positive attitude and pray that God continues to guide and cover me.

The last 2.5 year journey in Atlanta was a doozy, to say the least. I truly thought I had it all figured out and then BOOM…reality hit hard! My plans went down the drain and that’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re grieving what you thought would be. Let’s just be honest, no matter how Christian you may be, it’s hard to let go of what you wanted. But in the same respect, because I am God’s child I know that he has my back and my future is filled with hope. I just keep repeating the scripture from Jeremiah 29:11 for assurance.

God gave me good, but I have to stop repeating cycles so doors can open for BETTER. Now I’ll be very transparent and say it’s easier said than done, but with a personal relationship with God and counseling, I pushed through. I have to keep telling myself that nothing that I went through was in vain. I’m getting beauty for ashes. God heard my prayers and saw my many tears. I’m trusting Him to guide me on what I deem my fourth life. Yep, my fourth attempt to see what is out there and explore this beautiful world. Who knows, my next stop may lead me to be an expat. It’s God’s will not mine, so keep praying for my growth and I’ll keep y’all updated. Be sweet!

Most times life is not all black or white

Maybe embracing the grey is a better insight

It allows you to focus and open up the eyes

Expands the mindset and makes one wise

Considering more options for an adventurous life

Creating better solutions to alleviate strife

You may come to the conclusion of a better way

If you take the time to embrace the grey

In a world meant to knock you down, you have to be ready to hit back. How, you may ask. Two words: Self Esteem. As a counselor, I always tell clients that happiness is an inside job. There are so many things that can cause you pain, as well as happiness outside of self. Knowing that, you have to deposit the good things into your mind, heart, and spirit to keep pressing through. If not, you’ll get sucker punched by negativity and it will bring you to your knees. I for one will not stand for it. I am willing to put on my boxing gloves and throw some sharp gabs and uppercuts to ensure I stay sane. The world may try to beat you down, but you have to wake up determined to live a life that’s full of joy. I thank God daily for my right mind to know that no matter what the circumstance, He wants me to live in peace and abundance. Give your problems to God and watch how He will get in the ring with you and help win against the wiles of the devil. Not today Satan! I will win because I’m a child of the most high God. Be Sweet.

In lieu of Mental Health Awareness Month…

Things you can implement to ensure your mental health is secure:

1. Self care
2. Healthy boundaries
3. Learn to say no
4. Surround yourself with positive people
5. Get counseling

The one question I get a lot lately is where am I moving next. I sarcastically say, “to the moon if the Lord allows.” (I would definitely be on the next thing smoking if that was an option.) I have always said never say what you won’t do because circumstances will change that quickly. Never in a million years would I have known that out of my 2 ROUGH years living in Atlanta, my last 2 months would be the most fulfilling. God can make your stumbling block your stepping stone. I say that because I found a new love. I prayed for a suddenly and that’s exactly what I got. And boy have I had the time of my life getting to know what real true love means.

That escalated quickly! I know some of you are like what in the world. I understand wholeheartedly and know you may be thinking this girl is crazy and moving too quickly. Well, I have been praying and I am staying positive of the outcome. It’s not every day that you meet a man that you feel God has sent especially for you. Thinking back on all of the men I’ve dated and thought were “the one” is hilarious how it didn’t compare to this. No, we’re not going to elope and not tell anyone, mainly because he won’t let me. Lol. But I am being an adult and trying to build my relationship in a responsible way. And that may mean doing some things in a way that others may not agree with…that’s okay. I am constantly seeking direction from the Lord.

I know you all have a million questions and rightfully so. If we’re close enough, just ask me and I’ll answer. None of this is a secret, but I have been trying to keep some stuff from the judgement of the masses. I’m sure a lot of you all get it. When you have something precious, you try to guard it from the outside world. I will be back and forth between Collierville and Atlanta, so catch me when you can. But I am happy and peaceful and I haven’t been in a LONG time. I have been in a fragile state for a long time and I have held myself together with the help of GOD. So I’m basking in his glory and in the hope of lasting love. I want you all to keep me in your prayers. And for goodness sake, continue to BE SWEET.

Dear 2022,

You tried your VERY hardest to break me. You tried to belittle me, tear me down, get in my head and cause sheer chaos. You took away some people and things I had to grieve. You had me rethinking a lot of different situations over my life. You made me want to throw in the towel several times. You even tried to isolate me from others thinking it would be detrimental to my progress. What you don’t know was God Allowed those things so that he could prune me and I’d become the woman of God that would make hell tremble. What you don’t know is that the word “holy” means to be separate or apart, so you pushed me into the arms of the ONLY one who could keep in my the valley experience. Baby, I planted flowers in my valley and watered them with blood, sweat, and tears. No matter how hard you tried, I am still here. You tried it…BUT GOD.

Sincerely, A Stronger Monica