Even when you’re pushed, it’s okay to not take the bait and just walk away. Too many times I took the bait and tried to prove myself and ended up going back and forth. As they say, when two people are arguing you can’t tell who’s the fool. It may be hard, but your mental health depends on it. Self awareness is very important in relationships of any sort, along with healthy boundaries.

Have you ever looked up your name to see what it means? I looked this up years ago and it made me chuckle. I’ve known that I wanted to be a counselor of some sort since I was in the 10th grade. I was always helping people and giving sound advice and I loved it. Come to find out, the name Monica means advisor, wise one, or counselor depending on which website you look on. I even give that little tidbit of information when I go on interviews so they’ll remember me better. I enjoy getting to know people and seeing how I can be of service to them in all ways, whether with friends or on a specific job. It’s my calling and purpose in life.

A lot of people search for their purpose in life so they can figure in which direction they need to go. Due to my religious background, I figured out my spiritual gift is encouragement. The term Exhorter is specifically used, as well as the gifts of Mercy/Compassion. But lately, I’ve been depleted and my compassion fatigue is at an all time low. I’ve been going through some transitional periods and just feeling like a big change is needed. I’ve moved to a new city to start what I’m deeming as my “fourth life.” And I still feel like something is off. I’ve been praying and asking God to reveal to me what needs to be done and still waiting for clarity. You get to a point where you ask, “God are you listening to me?” It’s a tough phase.

I have grown to ask myself lately, am I listening to God. That’s the real question and you have to be very honest with yourself so you can make wise decisions and experience greater. I’ve been toiling over my career decisions for months now, and I think that it’s time to use my skills in a new setting. My job is very taxing (and often off topic of counseling) and I’ve been looking for different ways to use my current skill set and still encourage people. It just comes so naturally and I think I want to start vlogging. It’s been on my mind heavily and even though I’m not leaving my job, I want to feel more of a service than what my job is affording me.

When something is weighing on your heart heavily, it’s good to explore its possibilities to see if that’s what direction God wants you to go. I’ve always felt compelled to share words of encouragement on a big platform. Maybe that’s what God is putting back on my heart because I feel greater is coming. Either way, I’m going to keep my spiritual eyes and ears open to receive what the Lord has for me to do. I always pray that He orders my steps, but I need to be willing to walk in His way. Keep praying for me to be the hands and feet of Jesus and operate in love with a soft heart. And watch out for me and my vlogging really soon. Be sweet.

Well everybody, it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve moved to Houston. It was a ROUGH transition, but God has never failed me yet and He didn’t start in Texas! I always say that the devil only attacks what’s of value. I consider myself high value being the child of The Most High God. It was only an inevitable that the enemy wanted to steal my joy. To be honest, he’s been going at me all summer. This was probably the worst summer of my life and the enemy took advantage of that.

Break ups are tough! I think this one was one of the worst simply because I had higher hopes for the turn out. I mean, I go into all relationships being serious and thinking it will work, but this was different. I think because we were so close and were best friends that it was a real doozy. I was just down in the dumps that we weren’t heading in the direction that either of us thought we would. I have no negative feelings towards him, and I truly only wish him the best. But I have to trust that God knows what He is doing and trust His plans. After all, they are for me to prosper according to His Word.

I never thought I’d move to Houston. To be VERY honest, I thought I would be moving back to Atlanta to mend my relationship. After that wasn’t the best option, I figured I had to do something. You know I feel “stuck” in Collierville, especially after seeing glimpses of what the world has to offer. But now that I’m here, I’m making the most of it. I’m going out, smiling, dressing up, and enjoying life. I deserve a soft life after these last few months, and that’s exactly what I’m going to give myself. Houston, we better not have any problems because I know the Ultimate problem solver. I will survive and eventually I will thrive. Keep praying. Be sweet.

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous: But the LORD delivereth him out of them all.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34‬:‭19‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Go big or go home! Well, BIG sounds like a good idea to me, which is why I’m moving to Houston, Texas baby. I bet you are just as flabbergasted as I am, so let me enlighten you. Everything is bigger in Texas, so they say… I’m going to find out for myself. Sooo… Atlanta didn’t quite work out on all ends, so after a little rest in Collierville, I decided it was time to make another bold move. You know how I say “do it scared.” But I’m not really scared this time around, just a little anxious on how this new city will turn out. I always go in with a positive attitude and pray that God continues to guide and cover me.

The last 2.5 year journey in Atlanta was a doozy, to say the least. I truly thought I had it all figured out and then BOOM…reality hit hard! My plans went down the drain and that’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re grieving what you thought would be. Let’s just be honest, no matter how Christian you may be, it’s hard to let go of what you wanted. But in the same respect, because I am God’s child I know that he has my back and my future is filled with hope. I just keep repeating the scripture from Jeremiah 29:11 for assurance.

God gave me good, but I have to stop repeating cycles so doors can open for BETTER. Now I’ll be very transparent and say it’s easier said than done, but with a personal relationship with God and counseling, I pushed through. I have to keep telling myself that nothing that I went through was in vain. I’m getting beauty for ashes. God heard my prayers and saw my many tears. I’m trusting Him to guide me on what I deem my fourth life. Yep, my fourth attempt to see what is out there and explore this beautiful world. Who knows, my next stop may lead me to be an expat. It’s God’s will not mine, so keep praying for my growth and I’ll keep y’all updated. Be sweet!

Most times life is not all black or white

Maybe embracing the grey is a better insight

It allows you to focus and open up the eyes

Expands the mindset and makes one wise

Considering more options for an adventurous life

Creating better solutions to alleviate strife

You may come to the conclusion of a better way

If you take the time to embrace the grey

In a world meant to knock you down, you have to be ready to hit back. How, you may ask. Two words: Self Esteem. As a counselor, I always tell clients that happiness is an inside job. There are so many things that can cause you pain, as well as happiness outside of self. Knowing that, you have to deposit the good things into your mind, heart, and spirit to keep pressing through. If not, you’ll get sucker punched by negativity and it will bring you to your knees. I for one will not stand for it. I am willing to put on my boxing gloves and throw some sharp gabs and uppercuts to ensure I stay sane. The world may try to beat you down, but you have to wake up determined to live a life that’s full of joy. I thank God daily for my right mind to know that no matter what the circumstance, He wants me to live in peace and abundance. Give your problems to God and watch how He will get in the ring with you and help win against the wiles of the devil. Not today Satan! I will win because I’m a child of the most high God. Be Sweet.

In lieu of Mental Health Awareness Month…

Things you can implement to ensure your mental health is secure:

1. Self care
2. Healthy boundaries
3. Learn to say no
4. Surround yourself with positive people
5. Get counseling

The one question I get a lot lately is where am I moving next. I sarcastically say, “to the moon if the Lord allows.” (I would definitely be on the next thing smoking if that was an option.) I have always said never say what you won’t do because circumstances will change that quickly. Never in a million years would I have known that out of my 2 ROUGH years living in Atlanta, my last 2 months would be the most fulfilling. God can make your stumbling block your stepping stone. I say that because I found a new love. I prayed for a suddenly and that’s exactly what I got. And boy have I had the time of my life getting to know what real true love means.

That escalated quickly! I know some of you are like what in the world. I understand wholeheartedly and know you may be thinking this girl is crazy and moving too quickly. Well, I have been praying and I am staying positive of the outcome. It’s not every day that you meet a man that you feel God has sent especially for you. Thinking back on all of the men I’ve dated and thought were “the one” is hilarious how it didn’t compare to this. No, we’re not going to elope and not tell anyone, mainly because he won’t let me. Lol. But I am being an adult and trying to build my relationship in a responsible way. And that may mean doing some things in a way that others may not agree with…that’s okay. I am constantly seeking direction from the Lord.

I know you all have a million questions and rightfully so. If we’re close enough, just ask me and I’ll answer. None of this is a secret, but I have been trying to keep some stuff from the judgement of the masses. I’m sure a lot of you all get it. When you have something precious, you try to guard it from the outside world. I will be back and forth between Collierville and Atlanta, so catch me when you can. But I am happy and peaceful and I haven’t been in a LONG time. I have been in a fragile state for a long time and I have held myself together with the help of GOD. So I’m basking in his glory and in the hope of lasting love. I want you all to keep me in your prayers. And for goodness sake, continue to BE SWEET.

Dear 2022,

You tried your VERY hardest to break me. You tried to belittle me, tear me down, get in my head and cause sheer chaos. You took away some people and things I had to grieve. You had me rethinking a lot of different situations over my life. You made me want to throw in the towel several times. You even tried to isolate me from others thinking it would be detrimental to my progress. What you don’t know was God Allowed those things so that he could prune me and I’d become the woman of God that would make hell tremble. What you don’t know is that the word “holy” means to be separate or apart, so you pushed me into the arms of the ONLY one who could keep in my the valley experience. Baby, I planted flowers in my valley and watered them with blood, sweat, and tears. No matter how hard you tried, I am still here. You tried it…BUT GOD.

Sincerely, A Stronger Monica

Okay, so I’m sure some of you know this, but I’m leaving Atlanta. My departure from this awful place is long overdue! Atlanta was an experience I will never forget, but God knows I’ll try. Lol. I know y’all have a lot of questions, so I’ll try to answer what I think you’re thinking on this blog. I’ll keep it short and to the point. I’m going back to Collierville for a “stint” and then I’m off to my next adventure. Let me break it down for you so you’ll understand.

1. I NEVER EVER EVER WANTED TO LEAVE LOS ANGELES!!! I had to due to circumstances that I could not help. I moved to Atlanta as a fast backup plan. I loved that city and would go back under the RIGHT circumstances.

2. Atlanta does not sit well with my spirit. I’m a spiritual being and I try my best to allow GOD to lead me. Nothing has been good about living here, except getting a better paying job after months of being broker than I’ve ever been in life. I’m tired of being in fight or flight mode.

3. I’ve had some ups and downs here, but mostly bad experiences. I have never been as depressed as I was in 2021 & 2022. I had to get therapy for myself just to endure this hell hole.

4. I realize that God must have been pruning me during this season of being alone. I was so lonely that I could hardly bare it. God had to deal with me alone so I’d realize I need to depend on Him.

5. Yessss, I’m moving back to Collierville so I can save money and then go off to my next adventure in life. I’m no longer afraid to explore new opportunities! I won’t be there long…it will be a time of “stack then pack.” Collierville is not for me, nor is Memphis. I will be at my parents house, so get up with me while I’m there and then I’m outty.

6. I appreciate all of the people in Atlanta who were kind to me while I was here. Top shout out go to my cousin Dayle on my moms side. Secondly, shout out to my cousins Jeffrey & Kristen on my dad’s side. They have been a blessing to me more than they realize. Not to mention some other friends I knew for years and enjoyed their company. But especially the loved ones who visited me while I was here and prayed for my journey. Sorry if we didn’t get to hang out, but charge it to my head and not my heart. Also shout out to the ones who said they were in town and I never saw you…that helped as well and I’m not being really petty, just real.

7. I don’t know where I’ll go next. I’d go to Timbuktu if the Lord allowed. There are lots of options…New York, out of the country, back to Los Angeles. The options are endless and I need to do what’s best for Monica.

8. I’m thankful for a church that preaches the truth. I haven’t found a church home here after 2 years, but I’m thankful for virtual church. The message that recently helped me was when Pastor Linda said we may write the vision and make it plain, but write in pencil. God will alter your plans to accommodate His purpose. His will, not mine.

9. While I’m at home, I want to enjoy life because frankly, I haven’t been doing so here in Atlanta. To be even more honest, I’ve been broker than a joker. I have explored the city and met different people, but it was still not a happy experience. I need a good vacation!

10. I’ll be at Julia & Ricky’s house, but I still need my space to sort things out. Living alone allows for those quiet moments after a stressful day at work. Please don’t be mad if I’m not as social as I was before. We all need our time to regroup or get a second wind. I will come around soon enough after being a loner and doing pretty much EVERYTHING by myself for about three years.

Okay wonderful people, I hope that answers most of your questions. Living away from home for the last three years has been an experience to say the least. I’ve learned to lean on GOD, be more responsible, to communicate better, to strive for better, and to understand there is a huge world outside of my comfort zone. I only pray that my life is an example to others of how to let God lead your life. Continue to pray for me as I live a life that’s pleasing to God. Be sweet.

I know all of your minds went straight to the gutter. Now, get out of that nasty thinking and rejoin me for this blog. Lol, silly goose! This blog is for all of the people who have been putting on a facade the past few months. For the ones who want people to think they’re okay, but deep down they are not. For the ones who don’t want anyone to worry about them, but should definitely be leaning on their support systems. And last but not least, the ones who help everyone else out but really need that help to keep them going. For the sake of your sanity, just be honest with yourselves and follow along with my blog.

I went to my counseling session and did an exercise of who I am versus who I pretend to be. You can imagine the first was loaded with cute little answers, such as “I am a child of God” and “I am a kind hearted person.” Then when it got to who I pretend to be, it got really honest and rough. The biggest one was, “I get tired of pretending to be happy when I’m not.” To be frank, I’m not as happy as I act like I am. Somewhere along the line, I lost motivation to do things that make me happy. Even more so, I lost me. Now the task is to find out how to get back to the real me.

Fake it ‘til you make it is cool. But FAITH it ‘til you make it is better. My counselor stated that you have to realize that you have mountains and valleys of motivation. I quickly admitted I was in a very deep valley, hoping to get out soon. I’m not depressed or anything of that nature, but lacking what it takes to pull myself off of a funk to get back to my normal self. For the first time in my life, I’ve been adulting on my own. I’ve been living in a bit of isolation and trying to see what my true purpose is on this Earth. Hoping that isolation brings transformation. Trying to live in purpose and not confusion.

I am blessed to have a good church ministry through New Life of Memphis. I replay the message that “I will not let the pace make me doubt the promise.” But it’s hard when you have been in a valley for a long period of time. It makes you tired from trying to climb upwards, but I never stop trying. I’m constantly mindful of my motivation levels, which makes me a fighter. I hope this message encourages the next person who is in a slump to get out. I don’t belong in a valley! Neither do you, but it’s up to us to fight our way back to the top with the help of God. Will you let Him guide your footsteps to the top? I hope my openness gives you the fresh wind to push through because you deserve it. Be sweet.