I Don’t Want A White Horse & Carriage

Most people who truly know me know that I love Cinderella. Yes, I’ve been rolling with that home girl for a good minute now. As a kid, I wanted to watch any movie variations of Cinderella because the ending was great. It was the typical Disney white horse and a carriage fairytale. But now that I think about it, that hefa lied to us. Where did she get a fairy godmother? I want Whitney Houston to appear from nowhere and make me a ball gown and I want to sing a duet too. Don’t get me wrong, I want the happy ending, but I want real love, not the fairytale crap. Proceeds to sing “Real Love” by Mary J.

It’s funny that I never would have believed that I would be single with no kids at the age of 34. But single and settling are not synonymous in my book. My mother once said that she knew why I was single. I was waiting for something petty a mother would say, but instead she came through with the sermon. She said I was single because I didn’t settle. Girlllll…you surely know your daughter! What would I look like to be this age and just go for anything? Nope, not I. Again, the happy ending is the goal, but in a realistic none settling way.

Having standards, boundaries, and aspirations is the key. Going outside of your “type” could help too. This is where realistic comes into play. I’m sure some people get millionaire men, who are over 6 feet, drive a black Tesla, and live in a 3-story mansion in the hills. That’s cool and all, but how does he treat you? Yes ma’am, put your superficial thinking to the side because you’re going to wish you saw past the surface of a man once you start dating them. Dig deeper to get to the real deal honey, your happiness depends on it.

So as I write my grievance letter to Disney for setting us all up for the okey doke, I have to keep some things in mind for dating. Being in my thirties doesn’t mean I’m desperate for anyone ol’ guy. It actually means that I need to be more cautious of ending up with the wrong guy after waiting so long. It’s okay to have some standards, but my line is to not put God in a box. So as I wait (slightly impatiently) on this wonderful man from God, I have to make sure I’m also ready as a woman. Remember, Ruth was WORKING when she met her Boaz.

Love Verzuz Hate

Lately we’ve been putting the greatest musical geniuses up against each other. Most would say there were no actual winners because the win is in the unity of our people. The cultural experience that we have shared has been priceless. The unity of both rich and poor has been satisfying. Although these lyrical masters have allowed us to reminisce on the good times way back when, we still have an ongoing “Verzuz” every single day. Love has been put up against hate and the battle is strong. We would like to convince ourselves that love will win, but hate is putting up a good fight.

Hate is bringing back hit after hit, much of it from the past records. The songs hate have introduced are some heavy hitters. Police against a whole race, politicians against progression, and nations against nations. From the untrained eye and ear, it would seem as if hate is gaining way. But in the depths of my heart, I can feel love ready to show the masses just what it’s made of. Love is in the midst of coming through with a powerful punch that will turn this battle around.

Love has had some historical hits of its own if we would only take the time and recollect. When hate thought it was winning, peaceful protests were a staple in the civil rights era. When hate was grasping for the top, love entered into the picture through slaves teaming up to escape misery. The greatest and longest lasting love track was that of Jesus giving his life so that hate would never truly win. So it’s cool that we have this entertainment via Verzuz, as long as we all agree that love must win over hate. That’s the battle we must constantly give consideration to daily. Be sweet.

Wakanda Forever

I remember when the Black Panther movie came out and everyone was excited, but the black community was doing the absolute most. I saw a post that said that everyone needed to wear all black and I remember changing after church to be in uniform for the occasion. I even bought my boyfriend a Black Panther shirt for his birthday and he had to wear it to the premiere. It was amazing to see how black people stood in solidarity for a movie and in support of a strong black lead in a predominantly white industry. We chanted “Wakanda Forever” and greeted each other with the crossed arms across the chest for months. It was such a touching experience for our people.

Since Chadwick Boseman passed away, we have been reminiscing on his greatness and how he brought black people together. We got to see a person who looked like us as a king of a thriving nation and not as a thug. I began thinking about how we could truly have the Wakanda Forever mentality moving forward, and I’m not talking about a Marvel movie. I’m talking about the mentality that we as black people are kings and queens who deserve to thrive. We deserve to live in harmony and show the world we too are great.

I recently watched Black Panther and one quote stood out to me the most. Black Panther stated, “We must find a way to work together as if we were one single tribe.” That in itself is a whole sermon! With all the craziness going on in this world, one thing we need to do is work together. Yes we all have our differences, but togetherness is a must if this world is going to move forward. I feel as if we are stuck and our differences are holding a stop sign towards progress. We can’t all be the same, that would make for a boring world to live in. Remember, there’s power in numbers.

I’ve heard more than once that Chadwick Boseman is the epitome of “you never know what a person is going through.” Because of that sentiment, we should all be running to hug our loved ones (with a mask on). We should be trying to right our wrongs without hesitation. If we’re going to be proclaiming “Wakanda Forever” in the next few weeks out of respect for Chadwick, we can at least try to portray what that means. Black lives actually mattering, standing against racism, and being a light in a dark world. Each of us has the power as kings and queens to make a difference in this world, but it would be a lot easier if we did that together. Be sweet.

God Wrecked My Plans

When you looked at the title, you were probably thinking “this girl is crazy.” Hear me out! God did indeed wreck my plans, but I’m ever so thankful for it. As smart as I THINK I may be, nothing I can come up with tops God’s plans. The Bible even states that eyes haven’t seen, nor ears heard the good things God has in store for me. Therefore, I’m going to go out on a very sturdy and reliable limb and trust the creator of everything on the plans for my life. Maybe you should follow suit, and here’s why.

Have you ever thought that you had it all together only to find out you didn’t even have the same puzzle pieces from the same box? Yeah, that’s my life for sure. The things I thought would fit in my life were being forced into the spot. Talk about uncomfortable. Little did I know that if I had listened to God, I wouldn’t have had to bare needless pain. The days when I took a left and should have taken a right had my plans for life wrecked. But I’m so glad God allowed me to take a U-turn.

God saw that accident waiting to happen and put some road blocks in place to keep me from danger. I thought I wanted to move to Nashville and that wasn’t a good option for me. I thought I wanted to be married at 22, but thank God it didn’t happen. I thought one career path was for me, but I got a nudge in the right direction. All in all, God’s plans have been way more conducive for blessings than anything I could have dreamed of. The moral of the story is to just open your spiritual eyes and ears so you can make the most of your life. You’ll do this by following God’s voice. Be Sweet.

There’s A Kamala Harris In You

Before anything, I’m a woman of God. Closely afterwards, I’m a black woman. Then I’m a daughter, sister, friend, choir member, sorority sister, and so on. We identify ourselves as so many things nowadays and we tend to forget to prioritize which identifier matter most. After seeing that Kamala Harris was the first black woman to be on a major party presidential ticket, I had nothing but positive thoughts as a black woman myself. After a year of many racial tensions, this is a slap in the face to racism. This news shows that even though America is not over racism, Kamala still made it to the top.

Regardless of what political party you’re voting for, you have to give Kamala her props. This lady worked hard to get where she is now. She was California’s first female attorney general, district attorney, and elected to the Senate. And now, she has the potential to be the Vice President of the United States. Isn’t that what we’re all doing, working to be on top? She has leveled up and shown the entire country that she will not be counted out. I, for one, am glad to witness such a big turn around. To go from bowing out of the race to being asked to be the running mate with Biden shows us all that it’s not over until God says it’s over.

How many times did you throw in the towel, only for God to tell you to pick it back up? If you won’t answer, I will and it’s definitely too many times to count. We all have a Kamala in us as women who want something out of life. We work hard, we get overwhelmed, we quit, we start back, we prevail. I’m hoping that her and Biden win, but even if they don’t, this is a message to get back in the race and give it your all. As the saying goes, rest if you must, but don’t quit. You never know, you may just be the Vice President of the free world.

How To Love A Woman From A to Z

After years of crazy relationships, I’ve decided that enough is enough. And I’m sure my fellow ladies can attest that maybe sometimes you men need a nudge in the right direction. This is definitely not a male bashing blog, so don’t run away please. If anything, pull out a pen and paper to take notes. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me later. This is a “how to” blog for men who need a little help in the relationship department. Heck, even if you feel you are an expert on women, you still may want to stick around for the show. I present to you…how to love a woman from A to Z.

A: Always be honest. Women can and will always know when you’re not honest. And trust me, what’s done in the dark will come to the light.

B: Be the man you say you are. You can’t claim to be someone you’re not and expect a woman to be on board with it.

C: Call her instead of constantly texting. Texting all day is not adult-like. We’re grown!

D: Don’t cheat on her. You definitely miss your water when your well is dry.

E: Effectively communicate how you feel. A man who can’t express his feelings isn’t ready for a relationship.

F: Forget your past relationships. It’s time to live in the now. She’s not the other women, so don’t expect the same results.

G: Give her a reason to be happy to be with you. She could be with anyone, but she chose you. Make it worth her while.

H: Help her when she needs it and without her having to ask. If she needs something from the store for a work presentation, help her out by grabbing it.

I: Invest your time in the woman you’re with and she’ll do the same. Don’t waste anyone’s time being half in it.

J: Just listen to her. She’s probably telling you how to love her with her likes and dislikes.

L: Little things matter. All the little gestures add up.

M: Make her a top priority in your life or someone else will.

N: Never downplay her feelings. You can’t tell someone how to feel.

O: Observe what makes her happy and use it when she’s feeling down.

P: Pray for her. She’s more than likely doing the same for you.

Q: Quality time is always appreciated. Focus on her when you’re with her, not outside factors.

R: Raise her up when she’s low. We all need a pick me up sometimes.

S: Stand up for her. Women want a man who isn’t afraid to stand up for who they love.

T: Treat her like a lady. Open doors, get flowers, the whole nine yards.

U: Understand her better than anyone.

V: Validate her feelings. She wants to know you care about how she feels, good and bad.

W: Wake her up with a smile. The cute seemingly lame texts and gifs make women smile.

X: X-rated moments…use your imagination.

Y: Yell from the top of the mountain that you love her. Women like that kind of stuff.

Z: Zero tolerance for anyone who tries to come between you two. This can be your mama or your friends.

From The Valley To The Hills

I just deleted 3 paragraphs of venting about finally moving. But I decided to do you and myself a favor. It felt great to write, but was pointless. The title itself explains the whole ordeal. I’m going from a valley experience to the hills from which cometh my help. You can insert a shout right there! I’m moving from a bad situation to a better one and that’s all that matters. Continue to pray for me loves. Be Sweet.

I Need A Fresh Wind!

Oh Lord…

I feel defeated most days. It’s like 2020 is winning and I’m losing. And by losing, I mean it’s punched me in the face, given me a wedgy, and stuck my head in a toilet. Dramatic, yes. Accurate, even more so. I’m going to be very transparent (one of the words that describes me best) in this blog mainly because I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I know my testimony can help others who are going through. Have you ever felt like God was testing you, and you were failing miserably? My attitude is bad, my mouth is smart, my thoughts aren’t good, and I’m just not myself lately. Lord, I need a fresh wind.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my sanity hangs in the balance of my positivity. I’ve been letting my thoughts run rapid. Today, I refused to let that happen! I did A LOT of thought stopping, which basically means when I had a bad thought, I’d refocus my thoughts. After months of having a WILD mind, it was very hard. Today consisted of many “Monica, stop” and “Lord, I’m sorry” thoughts. It’s like the devil sitting on one shoulder and the angel on the other. I’m proud to say that the angel won. I need to get my life back together. For goodness sake, I’m a child of THE MOST HIGH GOD.

I’m sure many of us need a fresh wind, to regroup, and remember our purpose. We set out goals for this year, and most of them are still attainable. And if it’s not, come up with a strategy that will get you as close as possible. We got time! It’s not like we can go too many places and are so busy. Let’s get back on track and set the devil straight. He don’t run NOTHING! We need to get in war mode because this year is hitting hard, but we have to hit back. I need you to dig deep to the depths of your soul and declare with me right now that we will prevail. Open your mouth and say we’ve already won!!!

The Blood

The blood of Jesus lubricates my life for success

As long as I’m covered in it I find sweet rest

To plead it over my friends and loved ones is the key

It surely opens my eyes and allows me to see

That my Father above always has my back

His kindness and love towards me is a blessing in fact

So I never take for granted the power of the blood

It washes me white as snow when I was dirty in sin as mud

Today I will walk in favor knowing I’m covered from day to day

Knowing it will be my protection each day I pray

Independence Day? Naw!

Not today!

The saying goes, when you know better, you do better. With that being said, this blog is for the ones one are ready to fuss about black people just now celebrating Juneteenth and not the Fourth of July. This has been a different kind of year, so we as black people have the right to switch our way of thinking to a way that goes with more of who we are. Independence Day was never for black people, but most don’t know the history around it. That’s mostly because we were never taught about it in schools. I surely wasn’t at my predominantly white school. But now that I’m aware, I see why black people aren’t celebrating today.

It’s our prerogative to switch it up, especially after all we’ve experienced in the past few months. Black lives have not been a priority for centuries if we’re being honest and factual. But for me, this year we took Black Lives Matter to another level. I got in my feelings about discrimination and I try not to get into deep subjects like that. But when it’s just blatantly running rampant all over the country, it needs to be addressed. Why would I celebrate something that’s not for me? Just like when we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but it’s not about us. Sure, if you want the day off to get drunk, go for it! But this year has been more about off days and barbecue to black people.

It may seem like we’re being militant when we denounce Independence Day, but we’re standing for something. We’re becoming more informed and letting our people know about history they’ve overlooked or just really never knew about. Black history isn’t just for one month when you’re black 365 days a year. We are living out history every day. We will either make a difference in this society and bring about change from being informed or let people continue to show us we don’t matter. So don’t feel weird when people say you’re just being extra or when other races think we’re stirring the pot. Stir that sucker til change comes!