Since I was starving today, I had to stop and get a big greasy meal from the local corner store. I ran in and never expected to see my ex’s dad. I never really try to avoid anyone, so I spoke to him first and asked how he was doing. Of course, he had to ask if I had spoken to his son, and I said no. He proceeded to say some not so nice things about his own son and I laughed it off. As we parted ways, I got to thinking about how I never really heard any good talk about my ex from his family. It’s pretty bad when your own family doesn’t speak highly of you. Then I began to think about how I never caught that when we were together. I overlooked some signs that could have saved me time from a pointless relationship. Even worse, I began thinking about all the times I overlooked signs from relationships and situations. Needless to say, I have been a fool in this dating world over the years.
INFATUATION, NOT LOVE, CAN TRULY BE A BLINDER. The all caps was to put an emphasis on the cause and effect. When you’ve been single for so long and you finally come across someone you think is amazing, it can be worse. You’re willing to overlook some things because loneliness has set in. On the other side of the spectrum, when you just got out of a relationship and get into a new one, you let things ride because they are probably a little better that the last one. But in doing so, you set yourself up for failure. You may get better, but only slightly. It’s never really worth it. That person’s faults just aren’t the last person’s faults, but they are faults nonetheless that should be taken into account. Not to say that anyone is perfect, but some stuff you just shouldn’t have to take.
Below, I will list some things that should not be overlooked no matter how sweet and fine a person may be:
- Physically abusive, but a sweet talker
- Verbally abusive, but makes up for it with gifts
- Family has nothing good to say about your mate
- Your mate doesn’t want you to have friends
- Your mate gets extremely jealous when you hang with other people
- Your mate breaks the law often and makes excuses for it
- Your friends have tried to warn you, but you cast it off as jealousy
- You keep making up and breaking up over the same and/or different things
- Your mate has anger issues and can’t keep a job because of it
- Your mate is lazy and never does anything to change
I believe I definitely could have saved myself some trouble in ALL of my relationships if I would have not been so naive. But since they are over and done, I can only say that I gained some hard earned lessons. Some had to be learned a few times out of stupidity. The person that is for you will be kind, compassionate, and you won’t feel like you have to question their love. Anything less than that is not worth it. If you’re not happy, what’s the point? You can be miserable alone. So if your mate can’t or won’t BE SWEET, drop them ASAP!