I have a nine year old nephew who asked my sister what I did for work. Even though he’s a very smart kid, she gave him a pretty simple description that he’d totally understand. She told him that my job is to make people happy. In case most of you don’t know, I’m a mental health counselor and have been so for over 8 years. I wouldn’t necessarily say I make people happy, but I’d definitely say I give people the tools to ensure they realize being happy is an inside job.
Lately, I haven’t been myself. I can honestly say that I haven’t been as happy as I usually would be, even though I’m not miserable either. I feel like I’ve been waiting for something magical to happen or an act from the high heavens to sweep me off my feet and just immediately become happy. I coach people daily on coping skills, hobbies, utilizing support systems, and self care, yet I don’t seem to take my own advice. It’s shameful! I did, however, finally get a therapist to help me with gathering some personal thoughts. Her having me write out some prompted thoughts made me realize I’m not happy and it’s up to me to change it.
I’m still trying to figure out who I am (in the Lord) and what my next steps should be. I’m all about being in the will of God and living out my purpose. I’m so OBSESSED with it that it’s driving me up a wall. I mean, I don’t think I’m too far out of the realm of living my purposed life, but I’m just wanting it all to come full circle…like today. I know myself well enough to know that I’m not a patient person at all. Self awareness is a must, and I know my weaknesses. But it still doesn’t negate the fact that I want the fulfilling career, godly husband, and beautiful children now. I need to work on that patience and being in the now. God is not in MY hurry.
Even though I’m not all the way sure Atlanta is for me, I still need to live in the now for the next 6 months at least. (That’s when my lease is up.) At the rate I’m going, I’ll end up on the moon next. I need to “bloom where I’m planted” as my good friend advised. I need to find my “people” as the guy at the bar suggested. I need to give myself permission to live and grace to know that eventually life will work itself out if I keep pressing towards the mark. I need to calm down and take all of the wonderful advice I give to clients all of the time. It’s time to make Monica Richeryl Bentley happy!