Is She Faking It?

I know all of your minds went straight to the gutter. Now, get out of that nasty thinking and rejoin me for this blog. Lol, silly goose! This blog is for all of the people who have been putting on a facade the past few months. For the ones who want people to think they’re okay, but deep down they are not. For the ones who don’t want anyone to worry about them, but should definitely be leaning on their support systems. And last but not least, the ones who help everyone else out but really need that help to keep them going. For the sake of your sanity, just be honest with yourselves and follow along with my blog.

I went to my counseling session and did an exercise of who I am versus who I pretend to be. You can imagine the first was loaded with cute little answers, such as “I am a child of God” and “I am a kind hearted person.” Then when it got to who I pretend to be, it got really honest and rough. The biggest one was, “I get tired of pretending to be happy when I’m not.” To be frank, I’m not as happy as I act like I am. Somewhere along the line, I lost motivation to do things that make me happy. Even more so, I lost me. Now the task is to find out how to get back to the real me.

Fake it ‘til you make it is cool. But FAITH it ‘til you make it is better. My counselor stated that you have to realize that you have mountains and valleys of motivation. I quickly admitted I was in a very deep valley, hoping to get out soon. I’m not depressed or anything of that nature, but lacking what it takes to pull myself off of a funk to get back to my normal self. For the first time in my life, I’ve been adulting on my own. I’ve been living in a bit of isolation and trying to see what my true purpose is on this Earth. Hoping that isolation brings transformation. Trying to live in purpose and not confusion.

I am blessed to have a good church ministry through New Life of Memphis. I replay the message that “I will not let the pace make me doubt the promise.” But it’s hard when you have been in a valley for a long period of time. It makes you tired from trying to climb upwards, but I never stop trying. I’m constantly mindful of my motivation levels, which makes me a fighter. I hope this message encourages the next person who is in a slump to get out. I don’t belong in a valley! Neither do you, but it’s up to us to fight our way back to the top with the help of God. Will you let Him guide your footsteps to the top? I hope my openness gives you the fresh wind to push through because you deserve it. Be sweet.

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