Love Bombing

I must start this blog off by saying I’m in no way, fashion, or form a relationship guru. I will say that I’ve learned a lot about myself in relationships and I’m ready to tell my story. In light of recent events (if you know, you know), I’ve come to realize that hindsight really is 20/20. With that being said, I have to give myself grace or I’ll be a whole wreck. When you are a genuine person, sometimes people take advantage of that. And when you’re a Christian woman with good intentions and high empathy and understanding, dating can really get the best of you. This blog isn’t about any particular person I’ve dated, just the subject of love bombing. Take it how you want, it’s MY blog and you can write your own if you feel compelled to do so. Just in time for V-day…

When it comes to being a spiritual woman, you have to be careful about what you pray for because the devil hears your prayers too. I’ve even heard of women coming up with passwords with God to shed a light on who their future husbands are. Do what you do, but just remember to keep a good line of communication with God to ensure that you’re on the right path. Before I knew what love bombing was, I had a pretty big ego. I thought that I was such an amazing woman that men were falling for me fast. Little did I know, these men were actually trying to get ME to fall fast so they could get me to be with them. This can be done by being overly affectionate, communicating via text/call all day, and seeing each other often. It’s very easy to fall prey to it because you think you’re just that awesome. That’s just them hyping you up to bring you down.

My counselor recently told me that when it comes to dating, you should take it slow. We all know this, but when you’re in the moment all that flies out the window! I will say that when you don’t have hobbies or other things to take your mind off of day to day life, it’s easy to be engulfed in a prospective partner. I will also say, since leaving my hometown, I don’t have much of a life. I was a social busybody in Memphis, and now I’m kind of chill with not much to do. This is how I fell deeply in “love” with a love bomber TWICE! I’m not saying any names, but I will say it was a roller coaster of a ride and I was glad to get off! They swoop you off your feet fast, gaslight you, and make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. Who wouldn’t like that?!

You feel so good about your new found love that you don’t question it. With the love bomber, they’re trying to keep you from seeing their true self so they do everything to win you over. It works because they’re good at manipulating. But sure enough, their “representative” can’t keep up with the lie, so their true colors start to show. And it’s like a punch in the gut to see someone in the true light, but it’s at that moment when you realize that you need to break free. They’ll make you feel bad for realizing you’re better off and you struggle with if you want to go or be understanding. I will say, being an empath will make this decision hard because we try to see the best in everyone and every situation. It’s a gift and a curse! It’s actually gotten me in some BAD situations and I have to learn to hone my spiritual gift of empathy.

In all, relationships are actually not hard. If they are, you need to re-evaluate WHO you’re with. When it gets to this point, they will have a death grip on you to stay. Let me just say, this is your cue to get out! We overlook the red flags for our own selfish reasons for validation, but it’s not worth it. Trust me, staying means losing a part of yourself every day until you are depleted and begging God to free you from this person. I’m a big believer of positive relationships because I’ve been in plenty of toxic ones. This isn’t a dig at anyone, but if you feel it is, please change! Again, my blog so I post things that are important to me. I truly hope that anyone (man or woman) reading this will try to move forward knowing that love bombing is real, and so is narcissism, gaslighting, and bread crumbing. We just need to pray and continue to operate in godly discernment. And if you’re in an abusive relationship, please get help ASAP because you deserve so much better! Push come to shove, call me and I’ll beat them up…I know karate and crazy…pick one! As always, Be Sweet.