I read somewhere that outside your comfort zone is where you find who you truly are. For the last 6 years, I’ve been too comfortable. I moved back with my parents after having my first apartment and just got stuck. You would think that it was good to be living with my parents who didn’t require me to pay any bills. Well, it allowed me to go different places with extra money, but it still was too comfortable. It’s probably the reason why I let myself stay for so long without much progress. Then I got fed up and that was all it took.
Have you ever been in bed and it was so cozy that you felt like you were its prisoner? You knew you needed to get up and get some stuff done, but the comfort was overwhelming. That’s what my life had become after being so safe in my zone. I had to break free from the prison because I had things I wanted to accomplish. I knew from the start that it would take a new setting to break free from familiarity’s grip. It was a long prison sentence, but I got out!
I have to say that being around family and friends was rewarding and fun. They were absolutely loving and that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I wasn’t living the life I had wanted for so long. That’s when all the family gatherings and girls nights in the world can’t feed your appetite for more. I knew what needed to be done, I just had to do it. I had to start my journey to myself. What an adventure that would be.
The 26 hour drive to Los Angeles wasn’t the start of said journey. No, the journey began in April when I realized how little progress I had made. I was good at faking the funk, but was silently resenting the fact that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had to start preparing for my journey to self awareness. I had to be okay with time to myself and being mindful of what I was working towards. Independence was my goal and I had to fall back on the things that didn’t coincide with my dreams.
The journey meant being a real adult. I had to save money, which was hard for a person who spends too much. I had to be honest with myself and really concentrate on getting things done. I had to stay positive because my future depended on it. I had to block out negativity, even when it came from loved ones. Nothing was going to get in the way of my journey. That’s why the questions of why had to be blocked out. The question I didn’t want to be asking myself was “what if” later down the road. When you have a goal in mind, you don’t have time to entertain negativity.
My first time coming to Los Angeles for interviews in August was mind blowing. I made the leap! My first solo trip wasn’t about fun, it was about business. Even though I didn’t get the jobs, it opened up the door for more. I didn’t let self pity keep me from moving forward and making yet another trip for interviews. This time I had more confidence because I knew what kind of potential I had in my field. My journey of YES had begun. It took me a while to see that the journey to Monica was one of saying YES to success and a great future. But now that I’m still on the journey as I type, I see that I deserve it. I just want others to see their journey is worth the work. It may be an uphill journey, but isn’t the TOP where we’re supposed to go?