Oh To Be Kept

Most times when we go through a bad season, we assume that it’s the devil. That may or may not be true, but sometimes it will be your test to see if you can endure and trust in the Lord. The move to Atlanta was smooth and everything worked in my favor for the first month. When I didn’t have a clue how I was going to relocate from Memphis to Atlanta, I decided to sow a seed. I remembered Elder Sherilyn Williams saying, ‘if you have a need, sow a seed.” It sounded really churchy, but I needed an act from God. I only had $10 to give, but I prayed over it and left it alone. The next day, a “destiny helper” came along and let me borrow $2000. You can’t tell me God isn’t real, even with my sometimes mustard seed faith during hard times that’s clouded by doubt. I even got to move into my apartment on my third day of living there. I mean it was mind blowing and I was on a roll. I started my job the next week and it was all going well. Then all hell broke loose about a month afterwards. My birthday wasn’t even what I expected. I was in need of the peace that only God could give and trying to keep up appearances so I didn’t get any naysayers feedback. I was in a bad place mentally. This is my testimony and as Pastor Sherri Brooks states, the way to win souls is to tell of what God has done in our lives.

I began to take multiple hits, especially financially. My job was too overwhelming and they had no structure, plus the pay wasn’t helping to sustain me. I looked for other jobs and had multiple interviews and nothing would work out. I was devastated and I began to cry out to the Lord. I wondered why I was struggling in a place called the Black Mecca that was supposedly set up for black professionals to thrive. I cringed at the fact that a woman with 2 degrees in her field and over 7 years of experience was not doing as well as she had hoped. I cried a lot and each week something bad would happen to me. I was sinking and I mean quickly! And when that wasn’t enough, I began to get sick. I started having allergic reactions to where I thought I would have to use my EpiPen twice in a week’s time. I was literally drinking out of the Benadryl bottle because I refused to go to the hospital. I didn’t have the money to go! The following week, I woke up and couldn’t talk and had a fever of 101.6 and had to go to the doctor immediately. I thought my throat was closing due to the second time of an allergic reaction. It turned out I had strep throat and had to get about $100 from my parents for medicine and the doctor’s visit. I was desperate for God to help me.

I continued to post positive messages, scriptures, and all the while having the worst time of my life. I often wondered if I should have stayed in Los Angeles, but it was too late to go back. Family and friends were visiting and I kept it together every time. After they would leave, I would cry because I was absolutely MISERABLE, but giving up wasn’t an option. I couldn’t go back to Memphis because that would put a dent in my credit from breaking a lease and I still needed money to pay my bills with the help of my parents. I felt like I was failing in life, but I refused to give up. I began to seek the Lord more and more every day. I watched church every time they went live and took notes during Bible study to look over when I felt overwhelmed. I was even doing UberEats so I wouldn’t have to ask my parents for money on the small things. It was the worst time of my life and I kept decreeing good things over my life daily just like my New Life of Memphis church taught me. Every time I wouldn’t get a job, I would be devastated, but I kept on applying for jobs like a mad woman. Even when the people on my job were doing me wrong, I kept on pressing. If it was a test from God, I was going to pass. If it was the devil, I was going to show him who I was in the Lord. There was absolutely no way I would quit.

I remember when I went back home for my niece’s birthday and was determined to go to church that weekend. I walked in that church and felt great immediately. I cried the whole service because I was spiritually in need of a change. Towards the end of the sermon, Bishop Willis began to ask the church to sow a seed. I looked at my bank account and it was empty. I felt bad, but I just figured I would sow a seed the next time I got paid. Then Bishop asked if there was anyone in the congregation who wanted to sow a seed, but was financially unable at the time. It was like my feet began to move on their own. I didn’t care who knew I was broke, I needed God to bless me. He gave me $40 to sow so that I could reap something good soon. I went back to Atlanta recharged and ready to fight for my life, because in essence that was how it felt. I was fighting to have a fruitful life and be successful for God, myself, and my family. That same week, my sister saw a job posting and sent it to me. I applied and the next day I received an interview that same week Bishop gave me money for a seed. God was working! Then and there the interviewer stated that I would get a second interview. I prayed because it was a job that would be in my field and pay good money with benefits. I aced my second interview and claimed that job as mine. It was time for a new season in my life. Being in lack was not my final destination.

I wrote the part above the day I had the second interview…in faith. Now, I am writing the rest because I was offered the job today. I told myself that I was going to brag so hard on God and tell my testimony when I was done with the test. When I got the call and was told the salary, I screamed in the stairwell of my job. It was more money than I had ever made. I attribute that part to Prophetess Alisa Gibson who proclaimed that I would make more money than I ever had a few months before. I put my small faith at the time with her big faith. To get the news that I can pay my bills comfortably and pay my parents back some of the money they gave me during these last 5 months is so satisfying to me. God is truly somebody to me and I will never stop telling of His glory no matter how up or down I get in life! My take away from this test is to never stop “faithing” your way through. I had to get into a spiritual mindset and fight that way. That meant opening my mouth and decreeing the Word over my life. I posted scriptures all over my house and said them aloud every day no matter how depressed I was. No matter how many times I fell to my knees crying and screaming, I gathered myself the next few minutes and kept moving. My haters may laugh, but take a look at Micah 7:8 (Don’t gloat over me…I will rise). As the Apostle Kevin Davidson sings, “I’ve never been through a storm that did not pass over.” You may be in a tough season, but best believe those seasons Do change! Be Sweet.