Imagine taking a test over and over again and failing. You keep putting the exact same answers as the times before, knowing they’re wrong. Sounds crazy huh? Well, that’s what we do when it comes to many things in life, especially with love. Just in case you won’t admit to it, I will surely tell you that I’ve dated the same type of man a few times. I had to recently reevaluate the type of men I’ve been dating because I was tired of getting an F on the test. I like to get good grades and I was tired of the same heartbreak routine. You know the one when you cry your heart out, your friends tell you they never liked him anyway, and your family questions where the guy is when you have family functions. At this point, I’m tempted to never let my family or friends see anyone I date until I’m literally walking down the aisle.
I recently had a talk with one of the ladies I work with. What made the talk interesting was the fact that she is from Turkey. For that to be so far away from the U.S., it’s safe to say that love is a universal language. Even more so that we all go through the joys and sorrows of dealing with love in all walks of life. As we were talking, we discussed how there needs to be a “lid on love.” Now that may confuse some of you because we’re taught that love show be free and open, but stick with me on this one. I brought up the fact that in one of my relationships, I began to love my mate to the point where I forgot to love myself. The relationship was extremely stressful because I was letting all types of things fly. Smart remarks, slick negative comments, and a just down right mean attitude. It was all because I thought love came with all kinds of drama. WRONG!
In the words of the late great Whitney Houston, “I thought love had to hurt to turn out right.” Not that I thought this exactly, but I just figured that because I was so in love that I should overlook certain things. We tend to forget that love shouldn’t be such a task that we’re exhausted from it. And it should never be abusive in any form or fashion or it’s not love! I urge the singles to get a new mindset about love so we can be in healthy relationships and pass the test of love. No more settling, no more putting up with all kinds of behavior, and forgetting that we deserve to be loved in a special way as well. We have to put a lid on love even in marriages because your spouse shouldn’t have the right to mistreat you either. Love is supposed to be work, but it’s definitely not supposed to hurt. Be sweet.