Have you ever watched one of those Hallmark love movies? I tell myself every time that I need to stop watching these unrealistic love stories. They all seem to point to one theme, love is all that you need. Although the Bible states that love can cover a multitude of sins, love is not ALL that you need. We all can agree that love can be hard work, and even harder when you’re in love with the wrong person. It almost makes you understand why Tina Turner asked what’s love got to do with it. It’s not that love needs to be discounted from relationships, it just needs to be realized that it takes so much more for them to really work. I must put a disclaimer on the fact that I am all for love, so this isn’t me being cynical, it’s me being honest with myself and others.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can agree that we have wholeheartedly loved someone, but it wasn’t enough to keep the relationship going. We were lacking other components that could sustain a long and fulfilled relationship. One thing you have to have is trust because without it there will be a strain on both people. One will think the other is in it for the wrong reason, and the other will feel constantly accused. Clearly that won’t produce any positivity or longevity. Another thing is communication, but the clincher is communication with understanding. You can talk until you’re blue in the face, but without understanding, it’s all pointless. And the interesting part is that you can be in love with a person, but other areas will cause things to fail.
We all would love to have the fairy tale endings that the Hallmark and Lifetime movies portray, but the reality is that love can be work. A relationship without love is doomed for sure. But a relationship with love and without respect, boundaries, and time is also headed to destruction. It sucks when you think you have something good because you’re both so into each other, but can’t connect on other levels. I think the sooner we get it into our heads that love is only a precursor, the sooner we will stop allowing ourselves to be so hurt after a breakup. Breakups hurt without a doubt, but we have to be mature enough to see that we deserve ALL of the major components that can ensure a healthy and strong relationship.