First off, let’s get the notion that if you don’t expect anything, you can’t get hurt out of our heads. I’m sure we can all attest that we still get hurt when we do this. So you may as well have some expectations and standards for yourself or it’s going to be a tough dating world for you. People may say that they don’t have expectations, but the truth of the matter is that we all do. You expect that if you order food at a restaurant that the correct order will come to your table. You expect that if you put gas in your car when it’s on E that you won’t be on the side of the road. See how that works? Why can we have expectations in every area of our lives except the one that matters the most, our relationship with people? Now I’m not saying that having expectations guarantee something will get done, because we have all ordered food and got the wrong order. I’m just saying that you may as well have something to pull from on the front end or you will start to grasp for standards when things start to go awry.
Over the years, I have had many friends, family, and strangers tell of things that thought didn’t need to be said while in relationships. We quickly find out that sometimes you just have to let it out because some haven’t caught on yet. I’ve compiled a list of things that that we probably wouldn’t dare say aloud, but we are definitely thinking. I suspect that some of you will be rolling your eyes and saying “girl please.” The other half of you will be screaming “keep hope alive sister.” Either way, we have all thought these things at one point or another whether we confess it or not. I’m just bold enough to write it in a blog and hope to the high heavens that some take heed. Here goes…
I expect that you don’t let your toxicity from your last relationship spill over into ours like hot lava.
I expect that if you have kids, you are raising them and not letting them do whatever they like. You know, helping with homework instead of shoving them in front of an XBOX.
I expect that you can carry on an adult conversation that doesn’t resort back to sexual matters every second.
I expect that you have good work ethic because it’s going to show when you keep changing jobs and blaming others for your wrongdoings at work.
I expect that you treat me with respect. Scratch that, I demand that. But you should know not to call me out of my name no matter how upset you get with me.
I expect that you have worked on your personal issues and mental health problems so I don’t have to be your counselor daily. I get paid to do that at work, not in this relationships. That’s draining!
I expect that you will not lie to me and keep it real. What’s done in the dark will come to light. Don’t make me get a flashlight!
I expect that you want a serious relationship. And if you don’t please say that before we’ve been “talking” for 2-3 months and you really want to date around with the world.
I expect that you have your own money and don’t expect NONE of mine. I’m not a bank or your mom!
I expect that you are man enough to say when you’re wrong instead of acting like a toddler and not knowing how to communicate.
I expect that you have expectations of me and don’t let me walk all over you because sometimes it will just happen and then I’ll catch that I’m with a doormat and not a person who stands up for themselves.
I expect that you will be supportive and encouraging because that’s very important in a relationship.
I expect effort. We both have to give it.
*These are just a few things that I expect. May seem like a lot, may not ever get all of them at once, but a girl can dream. Be Sweet.