Don’t Lose Your Mind During The Pandemic

Recently, I have been enjoying life and realized that I needed to write a relevant blog. I was thinking heavily on what the topic would be. Then I remembered the conversation last night with a good friend. I was very honest about how I was slipping into a slump from March to June due to this whole pandemic. I also thought about how I did a short PowerPoint for my sorority sisters about coping skills. So I thought it would be best to tap into ways to cope during all of what is going on. From the country being in slow motion, to working from home, to the children being homeschooled, it has been a bit much. Then to top it off, we have a very critical election that will determine our fate going froward into the pandemic. It’s a whirlwind of events going on that we have never encountered and we need a manual or guide to stay sane. So, I came up with a few things to consider. Pull up a seat and take notes!

First we need to pinpoint the things that have been wearing us thin…

  • Being in the house more than usual isn’t too fun unless you’re an introvert, and even then you want to have the option to go out.
  • Many of us are seeing just how “active” our kids really are. Maybe the teacher wasn’t lying on little Katie or Johnny.
  • Running errands has turned into you being a contestant in The Hunger Games. May the odds ever be in your favor. Germs everywhere!
  • You want to hang out with your friends, but you suspect their every cough or clearing of the throat as being the Rona. I will body slam you bestie!
  • Working from the house isn’t what we all thought it would be. For heaven’s sake, please learn how to mute your mic on these darn Zoom meetings.
  • No vacations!!! I am in a fetal position after typing those two words.

So now that we have come up with a few things that we are all mostly dealing with, let’s come up with some solutions to stay sane:

  • It may be hard, but try to focus on and work on some of your goals. Life hasn’t ended!
  • Take care of your body, eat heathy, take vitamins, and wear the freakin’ mask over your mouth AND nose.
  • Learn to say NO and stand by it. Don’t stress out with other people’s mess.
  • Start a side hustle or get a new hobby. Learn something new.
  • Cook your favorite things at home. Postmates, UberEats, and DoorDash are rich because of us. I promise it’s about $7 extra for the delivery.
  • Check on your family and friends and tell them you love them. People are passing away from this virus.
  • Get rid of things (and people) you don’t need. Downsize and prioritize!
  • Limit your social media time because it will depress you. Folks are wild nowadays.
  • Don’t drink too much because wine belly is a thing. (Goes to Google tummy tucks) Okay…settle down, don’t kill me!!!
  • Please try to stay calm when you’re repeating that Math problem for the third time to your kids. (Rethinks…Maybe drinking isn’t so bad!)
  • Don’t isolate yourself because depression will set in. FaceTime a friend to uplift your spirit.
  • Please stay home if you feel sick. It’s not worth it to contaminate everybody else.
  • Finish the degree honey, you owe it to yourself. Plus, you’ll probably get more money. Millionaire status!
  • Get some fresh air…not every place is contaminated.
  • Don’t let this pandemic limit your growth! You deserve the best!

The Cardiologist

They asked how it still worked

At one point I thought it had stopped

Broken, stabbed, ripped to shreds

Blood everywhere from the attack

Quickly on the table for operation

Mending was an in and out procedure

Only the best could have completed such a task

Healing was a process for me

But I knew my cardiologist would be my hero

He worked a miracle like no other

Beating strong and like brand new

The Social Butterfly Flies Alone

You usually don’t see a pack of butterflies together

They tend to explore this world alone

I suppose the cocoon prepares the butterfly to handle flying solo

The term social butterfly is an oxymoron

Time spent preparing to brave the world in isolation

Breaking free from what seemed like a jail

Only to become what you’ve been destined to be all along

Beautiful after a time of pruning

Ready to show the world your vibrant colors

The butterfly flies alone but leaves an impression on its viewers

I Don’t Want A White Horse & Carriage

Most people who truly know me know that I love Cinderella. Yes, I’ve been rolling with that home girl for a good minute now. As a kid, I wanted to watch any movie variations of Cinderella because the ending was great. It was the typical Disney white horse and a carriage fairytale. But now that I think about it, that hefa lied to us. Where did she get a fairy godmother? I want Whitney Houston to appear from nowhere and make me a ball gown and I want to sing a duet too. Don’t get me wrong, I want the happy ending, but I want real love, not the fairytale crap. Proceeds to sing “Real Love” by Mary J.

It’s funny that I never would have believed that I would be single with no kids at the age of 34. But single and settling are not synonymous in my book. My mother once said that she knew why I was single. I was waiting for something petty a mother would say, but instead she came through with the sermon. She said I was single because I didn’t settle. Girlllll…you surely know your daughter! What would I look like to be this age and just go for anything? Nope, not I. Again, the happy ending is the goal, but in a realistic none settling way.

Having standards, boundaries, and aspirations is the key. Going outside of your “type” could help too. This is where realistic comes into play. I’m sure some people get millionaire men, who are over 6 feet, drive a black Tesla, and live in a 3-story mansion in the hills. That’s cool and all, but how does he treat you? Yes ma’am, put your superficial thinking to the side because you’re going to wish you saw past the surface of a man once you start dating them. Dig deeper to get to the real deal honey, your happiness depends on it.

So as I write my grievance letter to Disney for setting us all up for the okey doke, I have to keep some things in mind for dating. Being in my thirties doesn’t mean I’m desperate for anyone ol’ guy. It actually means that I need to be more cautious of ending up with the wrong guy after waiting so long. It’s okay to have some standards, but my line is to not put God in a box. So as I wait (slightly impatiently) on this wonderful man from God, I have to make sure I’m also ready as a woman. Remember, Ruth was WORKING when she met her Boaz.

Love Verzuz Hate

Lately we’ve been putting the greatest musical geniuses up against each other. Most would say there were no actual winners because the win is in the unity of our people. The cultural experience that we have shared has been priceless. The unity of both rich and poor has been satisfying. Although these lyrical masters have allowed us to reminisce on the good times way back when, we still have an ongoing “Verzuz” every single day. Love has been put up against hate and the battle is strong. We would like to convince ourselves that love will win, but hate is putting up a good fight.

Hate is bringing back hit after hit, much of it from the past records. The songs hate have introduced are some heavy hitters. Police against a whole race, politicians against progression, and nations against nations. From the untrained eye and ear, it would seem as if hate is gaining way. But in the depths of my heart, I can feel love ready to show the masses just what it’s made of. Love is in the midst of coming through with a powerful punch that will turn this battle around.

Love has had some historical hits of its own if we would only take the time and recollect. When hate thought it was winning, peaceful protests were a staple in the civil rights era. When hate was grasping for the top, love entered into the picture through slaves teaming up to escape misery. The greatest and longest lasting love track was that of Jesus giving his life so that hate would never truly win. So it’s cool that we have this entertainment via Verzuz, as long as we all agree that love must win over hate. That’s the battle we must constantly give consideration to daily. Be sweet.

Wakanda Forever

I remember when the Black Panther movie came out and everyone was excited, but the black community was doing the absolute most. I saw a post that said that everyone needed to wear all black and I remember changing after church to be in uniform for the occasion. I even bought my boyfriend a Black Panther shirt for his birthday and he had to wear it to the premiere. It was amazing to see how black people stood in solidarity for a movie and in support of a strong black lead in a predominantly white industry. We chanted “Wakanda Forever” and greeted each other with the crossed arms across the chest for months. It was such a touching experience for our people.

Since Chadwick Boseman passed away, we have been reminiscing on his greatness and how he brought black people together. We got to see a person who looked like us as a king of a thriving nation and not as a thug. I began thinking about how we could truly have the Wakanda Forever mentality moving forward, and I’m not talking about a Marvel movie. I’m talking about the mentality that we as black people are kings and queens who deserve to thrive. We deserve to live in harmony and show the world we too are great.

I recently watched Black Panther and one quote stood out to me the most. Black Panther stated, “We must find a way to work together as if we were one single tribe.” That in itself is a whole sermon! With all the craziness going on in this world, one thing we need to do is work together. Yes we all have our differences, but togetherness is a must if this world is going to move forward. I feel as if we are stuck and our differences are holding a stop sign towards progress. We can’t all be the same, that would make for a boring world to live in. Remember, there’s power in numbers.

I’ve heard more than once that Chadwick Boseman is the epitome of “you never know what a person is going through.” Because of that sentiment, we should all be running to hug our loved ones (with a mask on). We should be trying to right our wrongs without hesitation. If we’re going to be proclaiming “Wakanda Forever” in the next few weeks out of respect for Chadwick, we can at least try to portray what that means. Black lives actually mattering, standing against racism, and being a light in a dark world. Each of us has the power as kings and queens to make a difference in this world, but it would be a lot easier if we did that together. Be sweet.

God Wrecked My Plans

When you looked at the title, you were probably thinking “this girl is crazy.” Hear me out! God did indeed wreck my plans, but I’m ever so thankful for it. As smart as I THINK I may be, nothing I can come up with tops God’s plans. The Bible even states that eyes haven’t seen, nor ears heard the good things God has in store for me. Therefore, I’m going to go out on a very sturdy and reliable limb and trust the creator of everything on the plans for my life. Maybe you should follow suit, and here’s why.

Have you ever thought that you had it all together only to find out you didn’t even have the same puzzle pieces from the same box? Yeah, that’s my life for sure. The things I thought would fit in my life were being forced into the spot. Talk about uncomfortable. Little did I know that if I had listened to God, I wouldn’t have had to bare needless pain. The days when I took a left and should have taken a right had my plans for life wrecked. But I’m so glad God allowed me to take a U-turn.

God saw that accident waiting to happen and put some road blocks in place to keep me from danger. I thought I wanted to move to Nashville and that wasn’t a good option for me. I thought I wanted to be married at 22, but thank God it didn’t happen. I thought one career path was for me, but I got a nudge in the right direction. All in all, God’s plans have been way more conducive for blessings than anything I could have dreamed of. The moral of the story is to just open your spiritual eyes and ears so you can make the most of your life. You’ll do this by following God’s voice. Be Sweet.

There’s A Kamala Harris In You

Before anything, I’m a woman of God. Closely afterwards, I’m a black woman. Then I’m a daughter, sister, friend, choir member, sorority sister, and so on. We identify ourselves as so many things nowadays and we tend to forget to prioritize which identifier matter most. After seeing that Kamala Harris was the first black woman to be on a major party presidential ticket, I had nothing but positive thoughts as a black woman myself. After a year of many racial tensions, this is a slap in the face to racism. This news shows that even though America is not over racism, Kamala still made it to the top.

Regardless of what political party you’re voting for, you have to give Kamala her props. This lady worked hard to get where she is now. She was California’s first female attorney general, district attorney, and elected to the Senate. And now, she has the potential to be the Vice President of the United States. Isn’t that what we’re all doing, working to be on top? She has leveled up and shown the entire country that she will not be counted out. I, for one, am glad to witness such a big turn around. To go from bowing out of the race to being asked to be the running mate with Biden shows us all that it’s not over until God says it’s over.

How many times did you throw in the towel, only for God to tell you to pick it back up? If you won’t answer, I will and it’s definitely too many times to count. We all have a Kamala in us as women who want something out of life. We work hard, we get overwhelmed, we quit, we start back, we prevail. I’m hoping that her and Biden win, but even if they don’t, this is a message to get back in the race and give it your all. As the saying goes, rest if you must, but don’t quit. You never know, you may just be the Vice President of the free world.

How To Love A Woman From A to Z

After years of crazy relationships, I’ve decided that enough is enough. And I’m sure my fellow ladies can attest that maybe sometimes you men need a nudge in the right direction. This is definitely not a male bashing blog, so don’t run away please. If anything, pull out a pen and paper to take notes. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me later. This is a “how to” blog for men who need a little help in the relationship department. Heck, even if you feel you are an expert on women, you still may want to stick around for the show. I present to you…how to love a woman from A to Z.

A: Always be honest. Women can and will always know when you’re not honest. And trust me, what’s done in the dark will come to the light.

B: Be the man you say you are. You can’t claim to be someone you’re not and expect a woman to be on board with it.

C: Call her instead of constantly texting. Texting all day is not adult-like. We’re grown!

D: Don’t cheat on her. You definitely miss your water when your well is dry.

E: Effectively communicate how you feel. A man who can’t express his feelings isn’t ready for a relationship.

F: Forget your past relationships. It’s time to live in the now. She’s not the other women, so don’t expect the same results.

G: Give her a reason to be happy to be with you. She could be with anyone, but she chose you. Make it worth her while.

H: Help her when she needs it and without her having to ask. If she needs something from the store for a work presentation, help her out by grabbing it.

I: Invest your time in the woman you’re with and she’ll do the same. Don’t waste anyone’s time being half in it.

J: Just listen to her. She’s probably telling you how to love her with her likes and dislikes.

L: Little things matter. All the little gestures add up.

M: Make her a top priority in your life or someone else will.

N: Never downplay her feelings. You can’t tell someone how to feel.

O: Observe what makes her happy and use it when she’s feeling down.

P: Pray for her. She’s more than likely doing the same for you.

Q: Quality time is always appreciated. Focus on her when you’re with her, not outside factors.

R: Raise her up when she’s low. We all need a pick me up sometimes.

S: Stand up for her. Women want a man who isn’t afraid to stand up for who they love.

T: Treat her like a lady. Open doors, get flowers, the whole nine yards.

U: Understand her better than anyone.

V: Validate her feelings. She wants to know you care about how she feels, good and bad.

W: Wake her up with a smile. The cute seemingly lame texts and gifs make women smile.

X: X-rated moments…use your imagination.

Y: Yell from the top of the mountain that you love her. Women like that kind of stuff.

Z: Zero tolerance for anyone who tries to come between you two. This can be your mama or your friends.

From The Valley To The Hills

I just deleted 3 paragraphs of venting about finally moving. But I decided to do you and myself a favor. It felt great to write, but was pointless. The title itself explains the whole ordeal. I’m going from a valley experience to the hills from which cometh my help. You can insert a shout right there! I’m moving from a bad situation to a better one and that’s all that matters. Continue to pray for me loves. Be Sweet.