Would you drink a bottle of gasoline? Heck no! Then why would you let someone toxic ruin your life? It shouldn’t matter who they are, if they are toxic to your well being and happiness, throw those deuces. This may sound crazy, but who willingly wants to be miserable? This goes for that crazy friend who always uses you and is nothing but drama. This includes that cousin who needs a favor every other week, but is ghost when you need something. This even means that coworker who asks for your help on a project, but you end up doing the entire thing and not getting any credit. Sometimes you have to say no, you may even NEED to say no to keep your sanity. Anything that disturbs my peace in 2019 and going forward is a no go! Folks will run you in the ground and wonder what happened at your funeral. And don’t let them make you feel bad for saying no. You are good for nothing if you have run yourself raged. Going forth, we need to make our happiness top priority. It sounds selfish, but you do need to be good for yourself first and foremost. If you don’t, who will? Surely not the leach of a friend or family member. Remember that saying we had for drug usage back in the day? JUST SAY NO!

I will start by saying that even though I am not a parent, I believe I can still chime in on parenting skills. It’s the equivalent of not having to try crack to know it’s bad. Plus the fact the that I have worked with children and parents for the past 10 years, as well as been a foster care counselor for 3.5 years can qualify me on a higher level to put in a word on the topic. I know what good parenting looks like because I have had good parents for 33 years. I can attest to good parenting because I have seen my friends being so awesome with their children. Being a good parent doesn’t mean you never forgot to pick up little Johnnie from school or you accidentally ate little Susie’s lunch for the next day. To me, those are just things that happen and you just live another day to do some super funny stuff as an adult. Stuff happens, so don’t let your overly protective or very serious mothers tell you they haven’t made mistakes to add to your anxiety issues! The scary part is that although I’ve worked with some pretty bad parents in the foster care system, the majority of the ones I see are online and in real life. I have seen kids with the cutest outfits, hair all nice and done, name brand shoes, and are the spawns of Satan. Folks are quick to say what their child won’t do and those are the ones running wild. When folks cringe when they see a toddler coming, there is a problem. If you have problems getting a babysitter for your seed of Chuckie, you may want to keep reading. When was the last time you asked your child about their day at school and actually listened to the response? When was the last time you put down the phone and helped them with a school project? In my Bernie Mac voice, these folks ain’t doing a thing with these kids! It’s not cool that you let your child be in grown folks’ business. It’s sad that you laugh when your child curses you out. Then you wonder why your child wants to buck up at you when they become teenagers. You let them get away with too much and defend them in their wrongdoings. Start caring about your children who are our next doctor, teachers, and future leaders. Start using that child support money on the child and not to get your nails done. Start affirming your children’s dreams and talking to them right. To the parents who are already doing these things, you’re the REAL MVP!

Weave, perm, natural…pick your poison. No matter how you wear your hair, upkeep is needed. You ask if you need a sew in or quick weave. Do you want to rock short, long, color, layers? We obsess over the style no matter what. It just seems to me that rocking natural is a whole other ballpark, so be informed that this is my own personal rant session. Sorry, not sorry! When a woman decides to do the big chop, folks get all ridiculous with the questions. And most of the time it isn’t positive. What made you do that? Your hair was fine the other way! Folks get all in an uproar over YOUR hair. It takes guts to go natural or do the big chop after years of chemical damage. I get that folks have opinions on everything nowadays, but at the end of the day it is MY hair. It just sucks that folks are so judgmental on an issue that doesn’t concern them one bit. I almost want to yell out if they have the money for me to get a protective style every two weeks. Give us credit for going against the grain and wanting healthier hair. I even read an article about a woman who got fired because of her natural hair. She decided to go the natural route because she did not want to breast feed and have those chemicals in her body. Absolutely Crazy! So in conclusion, before you give a sister a hard time, ask yourself who even asked you. BE SWEET for goodness sake. I don’t harass you for your receding hair line, crooked wig, or any other hairstyle that does not fit you. I shut my mouth and keep it moving!

Catchy title, but what about your friend? Remember when we used to call everybody our friends? I would hear adults say that everybody isn’t your friend. Growing up, I was nice to everybody and I did call a lot of people my friends until we got to high school. That’s when the cliques came about and you had to fit in to get in. To be honest, I can’t really think of where I fit in. I was on the basketball team, but I was also in the choir, but I was cool with everybody because we all grew up together. Either way, these cliques did not play. Now we swear everyone is hating on us. Nah, it isn’t that many folks hating on you honey. The truth is, your so called friends aren’t as loyal as you think. If you had to sit down and evaluate, you’d be shocked.How many of your friends support you when you start a new project? How many celebrate your milestones? How many cry when they see you in real pain? You would be surprised at who really knows you. Then you have to take into consideration that you have “frienemies” who pray on your downfall. Hard to believe you have those in your circle. Watch out for the ones who want you to celebrate with them, but are ABSENT when it’s your turn. Watch out for the ones who laugh at your dreams and call them “little.” On the flip side, what kind of friend are you? No one wants to admit their faults, but we are grown so get over it! Do you support others, help when they need you, lend an ear? We all have busy lives, me included, but of we want good friends, we have to first be a good friend. I personally don’t talk to my friends daily, but none of my true friends can say that I am not there for them when it really counts. I can party and dance the night away, but I can also pray like a warrior for my friends. I pray for my friends every day because it looks crazy that I’m blessed and my friends are stressed. So the next time you get a chance, take inventory of your best buds. Ask yourself this: Are they preying on my or praying for me?

Let me start by saying how awesomely amazing I am. Let me follow by saying how awesomely amazing you are as well. See, that wasn’t hard at all because we are both wonderful in our own way. If you have a problem acknowledging the greatness in someone else, then you need to evaluate yourself. We live in a society where downgrading others is too normal. How could we not? WE have reality shows that thrive off of how mean they can be to each other. Then we have the nerve to rename it “shade.” No honey, the old folks call it being nice nasty. There is Love & Hip Hop that shows that there really isn’t that much love in hip hop. Then we have The Real Housewives who are the farthest thing from real. I’m not too caught up on my reality shows, but if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Catty women, roguish men, fake friendships, and the root of it all is the trap of comparison. Why can’t we just Be Sweet? I guess we think if we dare give someone else due credit, we somehow make ourselves less than. It’s really sad that we can’t all just be great, and social media is there to add to the madness. Honestly, if you’re not a strong individual, social media can depress you by comparing yourself to your “friends.” Susie got engaged to a doctor and we all know she used to be out there. Where is my ring? Mike just got a promotion and raise, but he is a habitual liar. Trust me, I’ve been there and do not want to go back! We never know what people are going through, so comparing is a bit silly. Susie’s fiancee may beat her daily. Mike may need that raise to pay for his child’s chemo. Whatever the case we need to have a better outlook in this new year. Can we turn Me vs. You into Me & You?

I’m back! Do you remember when you were younger and you had so many dreams to be Somebody? We wanted to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, and all the other typical things. I started off wanting to be a pediatrician, model, English teacher, and then a counselor. Yet and still, we actually wanted to be Somebody great. Seems like we’ve strayed so far away that now we just want to be somebody’s…but we will save that for another blog. Ask yourself, am I really who I want to be. The truth of the matter is, most of us wouldn’t do our jobs if we didn’t get paid to do it. When you can truly say that, then you have truly found your passion. I propose we stop making excuses and do what makes us happy. I am not suggesting you work for free, but let your passion make room for your increase. It may start off as a hobby in your house and it may end up selling in millions of stores around the country. I don’t know about you, but Hollywood status is calling my name. It may not even be for writing, but I do know that I want to be a notable figure amongst the Masses. We all have talents and ideas that could really make our lives worth the daily grind. If you are waiting for a sign, this is it! Steve Harvey had the will power to go from homeless to a star. Taraji P. Henson had the guts to move to California with $700 and a baby. What are you willing to do to accomplish your dreams? Whatever it is, get off your dreaming tail and put it into action NOW. Let’s Go To Hollywood!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton