I read somewhere that outside your comfort zone is where you find who you truly are. For the last 6 years, I’ve been too comfortable. I moved back with my parents after having my first apartment and just got stuck. You would think that it was good to be living with my parents who didn’t require me to pay any bills. Well, it allowed me to go different places with extra money, but it still was too comfortable. It’s probably the reason why I let myself stay for so long without much progress. Then I got fed up and that was all it took.

Have you ever been in bed and it was so cozy that you felt like you were its prisoner? You knew you needed to get up and get some stuff done, but the comfort was overwhelming. That’s what my life had become after being so safe in my zone. I had to break free from the prison because I had things I wanted to accomplish. I knew from the start that it would take a new setting to break free from familiarity’s grip. It was a long prison sentence, but I got out!

I have to say that being around family and friends was rewarding and fun. They were absolutely loving and that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I wasn’t living the life I had wanted for so long. That’s when all the family gatherings and girls nights in the world can’t feed your appetite for more. I knew what needed to be done, I just had to do it. I had to start my journey to myself. What an adventure that would be.

The 26 hour drive to Los Angeles wasn’t the start of said journey. No, the journey began in April when I realized how little progress I had made. I was good at faking the funk, but was silently resenting the fact that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had to start preparing for my journey to self awareness. I had to be okay with time to myself and being mindful of what I was working towards. Independence was my goal and I had to fall back on the things that didn’t coincide with my dreams.

The journey meant being a real adult. I had to save money, which was hard for a person who spends too much. I had to be honest with myself and really concentrate on getting things done. I had to stay positive because my future depended on it. I had to block out negativity, even when it came from loved ones. Nothing was going to get in the way of my journey. That’s why the questions of why had to be blocked out. The question I didn’t want to be asking myself was “what if” later down the road. When you have a goal in mind, you don’t have time to entertain negativity.

My first time coming to Los Angeles for interviews in August was mind blowing. I made the leap! My first solo trip wasn’t about fun, it was about business. Even though I didn’t get the jobs, it opened up the door for more. I didn’t let self pity keep me from moving forward and making yet another trip for interviews. This time I had more confidence because I knew what kind of potential I had in my field. My journey of YES had begun. It took me a while to see that the journey to Monica was one of saying YES to success and a great future. But now that I’m still on the journey as I type, I see that I deserve it. I just want others to see their journey is worth the work. It may be an uphill journey, but isn’t the TOP where we’re supposed to go?

I used to think living was going out every weekend and partying hard. When I say hard, I mean every weekend was spent drinking heavy, half naked, and flirting with every cute guy. I was wild and you couldn’t tell me nothing! It was like every night out was an episode of Bad Girls Club or whatever new crazy reality shows there are now. Getting in the club free, getting several free drinks, pregames were the norm. It was all fun being knowingly young and dumb.

Young and dumb seemingly were good excuses for me until around age 30. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks that most of my fun party buddies had moved out of the city to bigger and better things. It was even more interesting that they would encourage me to get out and see what else the world offered. I took them up on that offer. I traveled faithfully, went out of the country, and my eyes were opened to a big beautiful world. I had been missing out for years, but no more.

Recently I made the biggest faith decision I’ve ever made, I moved half way across the country to Los Angeles. The journey itself felt like a marathon. I just watched the movie “Brittany Runs A Marathon” and it was similar to my life. You don’t start off being an expert, but you do have to start. Even if it’s slow, forward movement is the key. I had to build up my stamina and be consistent daily in applying for jobs and looking for housing. Every day progress had to be made. And after a while, I was in the swing on things and ready to take it long distance.

When I say long distance, I mean that literally, as in a 26 hour drive from Memphis to Los Angeles. The first day was exhilarating until about 9 hours in. It’s just like a marathon runner, you push through in the beginning because you’re pumped up. I was making momentum, so I had to refuel and stretch to keep going. After pushing it too far to my halfway point, I crashed at 14 long hours on the road. Oh but it wasn’t over! The next day I wasn’t as psyched, so I only had 10 hours in me and Vegas was calling my name.

After a wonderful night on the old strip in Vegas, I got up on top of the world. Seeing the sign that said welcome to California helped me to see the end was coming soon. It felt good to have reached even that point, so I had to finish strong. When runners get to the home stretch, you can see the accomplishment in their eyes. I had that same sparkle because I made it to the finish line. In my mind, I was a WINNER! The medal I received was a new life journey. It wasn’t the end now that I think about it, it was really just the beginning. I made it!

As a child, I always hated Collierville. People would say we were country, lived too far away, and were acting white. I would always beg my mother to let me go to school with my friends or cousins. It started as a very small town, as we knew everybody and were probably related to 75% of the black folks. We literally went from Headstart (preschool) to high school together. Granted they built a new elementary school when I was in 2nd grade and a new middle school when I was in the 8th grade. Nonetheless, we ALL ended up in the same high school with a class of over 500. You couldn’t do anything wrong because your parents would find out.

My neighborhood was the best though. We had a spectacular childhood, my sister and I. We played with every child in the neighborhood. Our house was the place to be, probably because my mother would give everybody snacks. We did adventurous things like climb trees to jumping off of backyard storage houses. It’s a wonder we’re still alive! The best thing to do in our neighborhood, the Harris neighborhood, was go to Harris Park. Anybody who was anybody would hang out there after school and on weekends. The main thing we would do, besides being fast and mannish, was play basketball. Growing up as tomboys, we would join in on the action. Basketball was life in our neighborhood.

Looking back on my growing up, I’m actually grateful for Collierville. Besides college and 2 years living in Cordova, it has been home for pretty much my whole 33 years of living. I’m thankful I went to one of the best schools in the state and we had teachers, family, and neighbors who cared. The great thing about it all is that I still have that in my community. It’s going to be a real experience to move from small town/city living to Los Angeles. Someone even tried to “warn” me and say it was a whole different world. God, I pray so! I think Collierville has taught me enough about etiquette, education, community life, and caring people that those traits will travel with me on this new journey. I will not lose my Southern attributes just because I move. I will show the big city people that you don’t have to lose yourself and being a girl from the South is a great thing.

On January, 15, 2019, I wrote my second blog entitled “Let’s Go To Hollywood.” Before the end of this week, I will be in Hollywood after much work towards my goal. Maybe I was sick and tired of being all talk, and was ready to show myself that it could be done. I put it into the atmosphere and within the same year it’s actually happening! I went back and took a look at my blog and it brought me to tears, as I had no idea I was encouraging myself in the midst of all of my blogs. All of this greatness happening makes me have one question: What’s Your Hollywood?

I’m not naive as to think everyone wants to move to Los Angeles. That’s my goal and you have other goals that excite you when you think of them. What are they? Is it to open up a boutique or start a travel blog? Maybe it’s to become a nurse or move to New York? Either way, I know there has to be something that pulls on your heart strings when you think about it. Whatever the dream or goal, go for it! People with less qualifications than you are out there doing what you could be doing. The only thing you need is to start. That’s the only way things will happen for you, even if it’s a slow start. Whether you’re going 15 mph or 70 mph, the car is still moving.

Here’s a exert from my “Let’s Go To Hollywood” blog. I hope it blesses you…

I propose we stop making excuses and do what makes us happy. I am not suggesting you work for free, but let your passion make room for your increase. It may start off as a hobby in your house and it may end up selling in millions of stores around the country. I don’t know about you, but Hollywood status is calling my name. It may not even be for writing, but I do know that I want to be a notable figure amongst the Masses. We all have talents and ideas that could really make our lives worth the daily grind. If you are waiting for a sign, this is it! Steve Harvey had the will power to go from homeless to a star. Taraji P. Henson had the guts to move to California with $700 and a baby. What are you willing to do to accomplish your dreams? Whatever it is, get off your dreaming tail and put it into action NOW. Let’s Go To Hollywood!

There’s an old school gospel song that’s asks a profound question. If it had not been for the Lord on my side, where would I be? Some go on singing and never truly think about the answer. I, on the other hand, am very honest in my answer. I’d be DEAD! Thinking back on all of the things I’ve been shielded from is jaw dropping and nothing less than miraculous. I’m so thankful that my relationship with God has steadily grown over the years. I’m glad church has always been a literal God send for me.

I grew up totally in love with church. I always wanted to go and sit in the front with my aunt Lois. We went to Sunday school every week, attended afternoon services, and went to vacation Bible schools faithfully. We had Zion district weekly classes, went to National Baptist Congress, and participated in church teas and fashion shows. I even CRIED my way into the choir, as you had to be baptized and I just wanted to sing. It was always a joy to go to church and I even took notes as a kid. It was building my knowledge and thirst for Christ.

Because of my rigorous church life, my relationship with God began to grow. I began reading scriptures on my own due to being told I should know the Word for myself. I had a true hunger for Christ at a young age. I wasn’t always perfect, but I tried my best to acknowledge God daily. After all, He deserved it! It got to the point where my hunger began to grow and I knew I needed to seek a place of worship that would appease my appetite more. I decided to join New Life In Christ. It was exactly what I needed.

I loved the fact that it was a nondenominational church. Not that I have anything against any other church, but this was fitting for my particular growth in my relationship with God. Bishop Kevin and Pastor Linda Willis taught many lessons that affirmed my choice to join, as well as fed me properly in aid of my faith growing. One particular sermon Pastor Linda preached that stuck with me, was get out of the boat. That sermon has been in my spirit for years and I’m amazed that I’m actually getting out of my boat and going for a water walking miracle.

Bishop preached a sermon once that has resonated loud in my spirit as well. He stated that when he pushed past the “Baptist ceiling” he realized there was so much more to being in relationship with Christ. It had nothing to do with bylaws, but having the knowledge that more is available to me when I focus on God and not just church. New Life has given me just that. It’s been an amazing journey these last 3.5 years! I’ve learned so much and my faith has been built so that I can make better decisions in life. I’m so glad to have experienced such an amazing church family. I wish them many blessings!

I know I’ve probably been blocked, muted, unfriended, unfollowed, and any other social media term there is. For the last month, my posts have been nonstop California. I went to Los Angeles for interviews and got offered two jobs out of three. It was like something out of a movie. Then I went to celebrate with wine and the fake Bill Clinton at the Fresh Market. Maybe people thought it was over because I changed my hashtag from The Win to Winning. Little did they know that it was only the beginning.

When I made up my mind on which job suited me better, it was an uphill journey from there. But I was okay with the climb because the TOP was my goal from the start. To let off steam and vent, I used social media as my outlet. I vented and celebrated each milestone from having to travel alone to my housing venture. Clearly I don’t know much about Los Angeles because I live half way across the country in Tennessee. I had to rely on hearsay, strangers, and networking. Through it all, I was determined. But you can tell when people aren’t up for your journey by the things they say or how they react (or not react) to your posts.

People celebrate engagements, marriages, pregnancy, and babies without much thought. But it’s another thing to celebrate a single black woman who has no kids, no proposals, and no marriage. She’s only moving! Why is it that we don’t celebrate women who are following their dreams? Why are we looked over because we go against the grain of the norm? I’m not sure the answer, but I know we deserve it. It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone and be bold in your faith walk towards your destiny. I think we need applause even more because we decided to take a different path.

I’m not knocking anyone who has gotten married and had children, I just know that with what I have in mind, those things would make going after my dream harder. That’s just me personally because I had a real heart to heart with myself earlier this year. I literally asked God why I was still single. I kid you not, I opened a book that I had never read and the answer was as plain as day: God hasn’t allowed me to meet my husband because I would put him before God and that would cause my wonderful destiny to be forfeited. Y’all, that hit me in the back of my spirit! Ain’t no way I’m letting any man make me give up the great things God has in store for me. So I stopped dating and from that moment on, I started towards the California dreaming to make it reality.

The hardest part of this journey was to see the people you thought would root you on, be silent. It was like I hit the winning shot in the last seconds of the game (December metaphor) and the cheerleaders walked out. Maybe they walked out in disbelief that it happened or maybe they were upset that the spotlight wasn’t on them. Either way, it was disheartening. People I barely knew were more excited that my support system. But I quickly had to get over that because I can’t, no won’t let anyone make me feel bad for doing what’s right for my life. So to be clear, I’m not just moving, I’m stepping out on faith. I’m seeing what the world has to offer. I’m following my dreams, which most people never do in a lifetime. I’m trying to be a beacon of light to show others that no matter the circumstances, you too can do great things. You owe it to yourself to at least TRY! Be Sweet.

Today I turned in my letter of resignation. Not only did I quit my job, I decided to quit a slew of others things. I quit being afraid. I quit living beneath my potential. I quit putting my needs to the side. I quit waiting for something to happen. I quit being passive in my life decisions. I quit forgetting to love myself. I quit talking myself out of greatness. I quit lowering my expectations. I ended my contract with my job, but began one with my new life!

Sincerely, a young black magical woman on a faith walk

I remember the last time I truly set my mind to do something against the grain was back in 2014. I decided that if I was going to graduate on time, I had to quit my job and put in more hours at my internship site. Why would you do that? How are you going to pay your bills? Why why why? That’s all I heard back then and it’s all I hear now that I’ve decided to move to Los Angeles. I’m an honest enough person to say my last two blogs were written out of anger and frustration. But this post is coming from a place of PEACE.

When I quit my job back in 2014 to accomplish a goal, everything worked out. I had enough money to hold me over until the program was over. My dream came to fruition because I didn’t give up and I didn’t let the naysayers pull me down. You see, I have been babied all of my life. I’ve never really been extremely on my own. And while I appreciate my parents, I realize that kind of living has been a crutch. I can honestly say that at the age of 33, I’m ready to get out into the real world and see things for myself. Get past Memphis city limits and limits in general.

I love traveling and it’s opened my eyes to the possibilities of this big world. When I was younger, I wanted to move to New York City. Can you believe that my first time going there was last year? I cried at the beautiful sights of the city. But when I went to Los Angeles, it wasn’t an emotional thing, it was more of an enlightenment or a beckoning. I’ve been 3 times in the last 2 years and each time was more of an invitation to my future than awe of bright city lights. I knew it was calling my name. I answered! How could I not see what all was in store for me in a city with more opportunities?

Today’s sermon was just for me. Bishop stated that when you have a made up mind, you’ll make a change. I’ve been living a life that’s not meant for me in lack. I know God doesn’t want that for me and I surely don’t want that for myself. I have the abilities and talents that can allow me to live in abundance. Only I can make that decision to make a move towards change. And the fact of the matter is that whether I make a good or wrong decision, I will be the one living with the consequences. That is why this will be my last post in explaining MY decision! I have come to the conclusion that I am a very motivating person. In that, I expect me out of others and that is where I go wrong every time. I have high expectations for others and that doesn’t always end well for me. But I will say that I have peace now that I have been truthful with myself about the situation. That is truly all that matters, I have peace. Be Sweet.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Chist Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

I grew up in an old school Missionary Baptist church. I can literally hear every scripture and preach a sermon about faith and how important it was for Christians. The first that comes to mind is that without faith it’s impossible to please the Lord. So what happens when you move past reading scripture to putting it into action? What happens when you purposely try to please God instead of being all talk? I’ll tell you what happens. You’ll be put in a box of just how much of that faith you should exhibit. How dare you show more faith than that of a mustard seed after you’ve spent years in church.

Faith is cool and all, but obviously there are limits to it that I never knew about. I guess I recently found out about these limits when I pushed past the mustard seed level. I suppose that terrified others and their fears made them relay that message to me in various ways. I guess people hear so much about mustard seed faith that all other faith is unheard of. And to think I leveled up! To think I wanted to see what was past this entry level and thrive in my pleasing of the Lord. Again, how dare you Monica? How dare you actually grow and try to get out of the box?

You see, my sarcasm level is on 1000 in this blog. I’m actually the queen of sarcasm, which I suppose is better than being the queen of faith. People are okay if you have faith to move to Atlanta from Memphis, but definitely not Los Angeles. They’re quite alright with you having faith to get your Bachelor’s degree, but not a Doctorate. To be frank, it SUCKS to have to continually go down this path of others downgrading my journey of faith. And the main ones are those closest to me! Look y’all (yeah, I’m getting country in this blog too), how about you get on MY level instead of me stopping to yours. I will not give up and my faith will continue to grow with or without the support of anyone. In the words of the not so gospel artists Lil Jon and Trillville…GET ON MY LEVEL!!!

I’m moving to Los Angeles and whether I thrive or fail, I can say like Peter…I got out of the boat and walked on water. Will you get out of the boat? If you’d like to be a BLESSING in my faith walk, my CashApp is $BlackBentley. Thanks!

Why do you want to move to Los Angeles?

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 NIV

I always get a nasty look when I say I want to move to L.A. The first thing people ask is if I know the cost of living there. To answer that never ending question, yes I have. That’s literally all I’ve been focused on for a year and a half. And if we really want to get deep, I started off 4 years ago wanting to move to San Diego which is more expensive than L.A. So now that we got that ridiculous inquiry out of the way, let’s dive in.

I’m not quite sure what people thought was going to happen after going to the city of my dreams for interviews. Maybe no one had the belief that I’d ever really move because I’ve been talking about it for years. Well, sometimes it takes years for your dreams to come to reality. That PUSH came about this year in April after a break up with someone I shouldn’t have even been with. Seeing what I didn’t want made me hungry for what I did want. I knew it was time to get serious.

It’s a difficult journey to have such a big dream. It’s even more difficult when people transfer their unbelief onto you. The good thing about me is that I’m determined and no one can make me want something different. I thought about other places and other big cities, but I kept coming back to L.A. If something occupies your mind that heavy, you need to explore it more. I was tired of teasing myself via Pinterest.

I get that a lot of people wrote me off. I get that most thought I’d talk about California and never actually go. I get that my family and friends may question my sanity at times. But I know that my life has a purpose that’s bigger than myself. I realized that if I’m to be the light, I need a HUGE platform. What better place to shine and display the light of God than in Hollywood? I’m going to make it because I realize it’s my dream, but more importantly it’s His Will. So I pray that you all keep me in your prayers and stay supportive during this transition to greatness.

If you’d like to be a BLESSING, my CashApp is $BlackBentley. Thanks!