We’re all looking for a place where we belong and can thrive. You can even call it your promised land or the land flowing with milk and honey. I believe mine is California, but yours may be Florida or Texas. Either way, I have always kept one sermon in the forefront of my mind in regards to this place we dream of. One preacher stated that if we’re to have a land flowing with milk and honey, we have to be willing to work for it. We must be willing to milk the cows and not be afraid to get stung by the bees. That message has resounded in my spirit for the last month due to finally moving to Los Angeles.

Before arriving, I made sure I had a full time job to feel more secure with such a huge move. Little did I know that the job required me to work on weekends and my off days were in the middle of the week. Keep in mind that I hadn’t worked a weekend job since 2008! So it was very disheartening to give up my Saturday to explore and socialize, as well as my Sunday to worship at church. It didn’t help much that I began to dislike my job. My coworkers were extremely sweet and helpful, but I didn’t feel like I belonged. I also didn’t feel like I was being of much service in my particular position. It simply wasn’t my niche.

While I was almost miserable being in my promised land and not in a good job, I had to remember that it was all apart of God’s plan. It’s not enough to show up, effort has to be put forth as well. I put in applications like a mad woman! I wasn’t getting this far only to be stopped at the door. No, I was sucker punching the bouncer and running for dear life into my door because it was wide open. There were literally so many opportunities and I had 5 interviews in less than a month’s time. I was just waiting for that one that stuck out to me the most.

Most people think that if you have to fight for what’s yours, it may not be for you. I say because it is mine, I’m fighting to ensure I get it and keep it. The applications, interviews, emails, calls, networking, and prayers were all a part of my fight. And I wasn’t backing down! Then it happened. I got that call and it was finally my turn to get a better job. And it happened when I had reached my breaking point. My goal in life has always been to have a meaningful job that allows me to help others. It’s specifically why I chose mental health and why I chose such a big city with a large homeless population. I was being strategic about my life.

I try my best to stay positive and also transparent because I’m a true believer that testimonies can push you forward. Of course, I didn’t disclose this in the process because there would be some naysayers wanting me to believe my leap of faith was in vain. Nope! When you see the obstacles that others have gone through, you ask yourself if you’re strong enough to push through. Hopefully that answer is yes. We don’t allow ourselves the benefit of the doubt simply because we doubt. But if we could only believe and work for our future, we would start seeing progress. That’s what I had to do instead of waiting for a miracle to drop in my lap. The miracle was working hard and God allowing me certain opportunities because my faith pleased Him. What milk and honey are you willing to work hard for?

I’m definitely not one of those bandwagon people who just goes with whoever’s winning at the moment. Because of that, I wouldn’t dare say I was a die hard Kobe Bryant fan because of his recent death. I will, however, say that Kobe was one of the best basketball players who ever played the game. We can say he was a ball hog or whatever else, but in the end no one who can clearly see can deny that the brother had game. He learned the game and finessed it to a higher level, and we can see that from his numerous accolades in the NBA.

In times like these, we can’t let such a tragedy leave us down in the dumps. Although it may be hard, we must try to take a lesson from that person’s life. What did Kobe teach us? What can we glean from such a well known man? I saw one video where Kobe stayed that his guidance teacher told him not to pursue a career in basketball. (I bet she was sick when he went pro!) Kobe stated that it upset him, but he used that fuel to keep his fire going for what he knew was his destiny. How many of us have had people try to deter us from our dreams? The thing is, it’s not up to others to determine what we can and can’t do in life. That’s up to us.

Kobe had the right idea of starting young to make his dream a reality. He took the basics and finessed it to a level that made him a basketball great. Are you learning the tricks of your trade so that you can eventually put your own twist on it and become great? Or are you okay with just getting by and living to pay bills? These are important things we need to ask ourselves. The amount of work we’re willing to put in will determine our future success. Kobe knew that and showed us all what talent and hard work can do, on and off of the court. So as we mourn this huge loss, try to let these lessons push you to be a top player in whatever profession you choose.

This blog won’t be long. If you know me, you know that I try to get right to the point. The point of this particular short blog is to encourage you. Think of me as your blogger cheerleader who has come to give you a little pick me up. It’s a new year, and you’re still the same person as you were 22 days ago. It’s not about being a completely new person. It’s about being a BETTER person with a STRONGER mindset. This year you have to be determined. Each year we claim it will be our year. Well this year, my dears, is in fact your year. Truth be told every year was your year, you just had to own it. Are you ready?

So what you’re not married. Who gives a flying flip that you don’t have kids. Okay, so you haven’t finished school YET. Yes, you’re still searching for a better paying job. It’s going to come. Remember that last thing you prayed for and finally got it? If God did it before, He can do it again. But I will say put some work on that faith! You can’t get into nursing school without filling out the applications. You can’t get a new job and won’t even apply. Get a move on so this year can be popping for you. Okay, I’m done…get off this site and get to work boo!

I grew up in a family where we were really close. I was at my grandparents’ house almost daily because they lived around the corner. My Grandma was a very strong willed Christian lady who did her best to instill good values to all of us. She’d wake us up when we spent the night, saying rise, shine, and give God the glory. Then she’d go on with songs with lyrics such as “oh Satan the blood of Jesus is against you.” When she’d catch us in a lie, she would say, “tell the truth and shame the devil.” That was a funny saying to me, but it stuck with me all of these years. I heard someone say it on the radio recently and it sparked my idea for this blog.

You may not have heard my Grandma’s saying, but you have heard that the truth will set you free. Last year, I lied to myself on many things. I lied and said I was in love when really I was lonely. That kept me in a dead end relationship. I lied and said I couldn’t possibly write multiple blogs in a week and was almost writing one daily. I lied to myself and said it was darn near impossible for me to move half way across the country and here I am living my dream. I wonder how many lies you have told yourself and forfeited your happiness by doing so? Well, this year we must make a change.

Here’s another saying for you: If nothing changes, nothing changes. I like it because it’s simple and to the point. If you stop lying to yourself and give yourself some credit, maybe you can accomplish more than you did last year. Stop selling yourself short first and foremost because you’re never going to move forward without the truth. What crazy nonsense have you forced yourself to believe because you weren’t willing to just try harder? What half truth have you convinced yourself to believe mainly because you’re afraid of the potential you hold? Give yourself a break and be honest so you can not only have a better year, but so you can live a better life!

All of us have dreamed of making it big. We start off as young children watching fairytales about castles, royalty, and happily ever after. But what happens when the crown you’ve acquired doesn’t quite fit? What happens when you actually make it in the royal family and realize that it’s not for you? Most would try to fake the funk because the fame and fortune are what would suffice for them. A lot of people would enjoy the glitz and glam because anything is better than a 9 to 5. But what happens when you don’t have it in you to fake happiness, to fake peace?

Rocking the boat on centuries of tradition takes guts and that’s exactly what Harry and Meghan have done. I admire their tenacity and boldness to step outside of the boundaries to live a little! I mean, you only have one life, so why live it under such strict rules when you can be and do whatever you choose simply because you’re an adult. Most of us look at the Royal family as prim and proper people who have set guidelines on how to live. Doesn’t that in itself sound boring and blah to already have your life planned out for you? I’m starting to see why they’d choose an alternative.

Living with your family members isn’t easy when you’re an adult and you have your own choices to make. Trust me, I know! That’s when your family begins to put their input on your life and even through their best intent, sometimes you have to learn on your own. I believe Harry was at that point and has a lot of his mother in him. To top it off, he has a wife that wants to color outside the lines and get her hands a little dirty. It’s called philanthropy, or work for the rest of us. She didn’t need a crown to do what she was already doing before she met Harry. Her marriage into royalty wasn’t an upgrade to a higher society from her point of view, it was for love.

I read one article that stated most fairytales teach us that the women have to give up something in order to wear a crown. Meghan simply wasn’t willing to do that. The castle represented a place where she had to shut her mouth on subjects that she had passion for. No wonder she wanted out. Many people are willing to drop passions for titles that make them quiet down on things they care about. Others are willing to push past what’s expected for peace and sanity, not caring about a title. Meghan has taught us a valuable lesson. Titles mean nothing if you can’t do what your heart desires. No crown on earth can bring you peace when you forfeit your freedom.

Growing up in church, we used to always hear that sin is sin. No sin was greater than the other. But if truth be told, in our minds we don’t fully believe that. If we had to choose between a liar and a serial killer, we’d choose the liar all day. Because of this mindset, we have come to excuse some behaviors because they aren’t as bad as another. We’ve even brought this mindset into play in our dating lives. It has gotten us in a world of trouble and we only have ourselves to blame.

I always use myself as an example just in case I offend anyone or you’re not ready to admit your faults yet. Looking back over my dating life (a big mess), I’ve picked the lesser of two evils many times. The guy who was a drug dealer, but didn’t do drugs. The guy who was emotionally abusive, but not physically. Even typing those last sentences made me laugh at my past mindset. But I had to come to the hard realization that the past mindset was one of a woman who didn’t recognize what she needed from a man. A woman who didn’t understand that she deserved so much more. That came through hard lessons and unnecessary hurt from guys, but I’m thankful for growth.

When a woman realizes her true worth, she doesn’t put up with either of the evils. Not to say we’re looking for perfect men, but to say that we know there’s a man out there who doesn’t bring all that drama. It was cute and fun to be in drama filled relationships when we were young, but having that after age 21 is absurd! When you know better, you should do better. There’s a heavy emphasis on the SHOULD! What examples are we showing our children if we go around dating beneath our privilege? What are we really thinking about ourselves when we date someone who puts us in the awkward situation to question our sanity? Think about it and comment below. Be sweet to yourself.

No, this is not a fashion blog. One trip down Rodeo Drive and 3 weeks of living in Los Angeles haven’t turned me into a fashionista. Maybe one day! But for now, I’m just a regular dressing kind of girl who would rather wear yoga pants and flip flops over a dress and heels any day. That’s because I know my limits. Due to an old ankle injury, after an hour of walking in heels, I’m ready to cry. So with that, I know that I should wear wedge heels or something a little more comfortable to suit me. You just have to be honest with yourself.

Have you ever seen a baby calf trying to walk? Figuratively speaking, that’s how we look when we force ourselves to walk in ways that don’t suit us. An example would be me trying to be a chef when I burn water. Or you trying to be a singer when you can’t hold a tune in a bucket. You have to know when something just isn’t your strong suit. This blog isn’t to blast you in the areas where you struggle. This blog is to encourage you to seek out things that play on your strengths. We spend too much time on things that aren’t for us that we forget to hone the good skill we actually have.

This is the year we focus on the positives. Maybe last year sucked for you, but this year will be a year of reckoning. You will meet your true self and love her/him! You’ll figure all of this by seeing that you’re awesome and have lots of potential. You just need to tap into your greatness. What is something you love? What’s something you’d do even if you didn’t get paid for it? What’s your true passion that you’ve been hiding away for fear of becoming someone amazing? It’s time to unleash the awesomeness that’s in you. This year, we will walk in shoes that only make us look like we’re supposed to have them on. Shoes that compliment our being. Let’s get it 2020!

Forget your only good for 2 weeks new year resolutions. Cancel the gym membership or better yet, don’t even waste your time setting up payments. You didn’t magically go from one second in one year to the other in a new year and become a totally transformed person, so drop the new year new me act. But one new year saying I will allow is the fact that this year will be your year. In fact, every year has been your year because you’re still alive and that in itself is a WIN. But for 2020, we must consider some things that will potentially cause it to be one of learning and then growing.

I remember when I was in 2nd grade and I was having problems with my vision. My mother got me the glasses, but because my friends didn’t have glasses, I didn’t want to wear them. Stick with me, that’s a sermon right there! I was struggling to see clearly with the answer to the problem in my possession. Much like my 2nd grade self, many of us possess the answer to our problems, but we’d rather struggle to be with the in crowd. Can I suggest to you that maybe if you put on your glasses, you can be an influence to the blind?

Many of us go into a new year with all types of plans. But if we keep the same mindset as the year before, many of our plans fail. One thing I’m a believer of is that people can change. We just have to dig deep into what we already possess and change our way of thinking. You can start that business, you can go back to school, and you can be healthy if you’d only change your lifestyle. Only a lifestyle change can get you where you need to go. Resolutions are fickle and will be dropped before February if we don’t take the time to change our ways inwardly first.

I’m working on myself daily because I know that I want to be a better person. I know that my thinking in Tennessee can’t be my thinking in California. Not only are the living styles different, you have to push yourself more when you’re in a new surrounding. Laziness has to go and self doubt too! I can’t worry about the next person without glasses to see clearly when we lead two different lives. I must put on my own glasses so that I can see the road ahead to a productive life. The year 2020 is already looking amazing for me! Be Sweet.

I legit think Nike should give me a signing deal. Yes, I’m bragging on myself for getting stuff done in 2019. Because I was so determined for more, I decided to get off of my lazy tail and make it happen. I just felt as if I had relived the same year over and over again with little to no progress since about 2014. Life was beating my butt, but I’m a fighter so I punched back starting in April. There was no way I was going to get beat up any longer knowing I was a child of God in a fixed fight that was already won for me.

Each day I posted encouraging words and pictures, but I never followed that advice. It made me look stupid to tell other people to follow the dreams when I was at a standstill. No more standing still, even baby steps would suffice. And that’s exactly where I started, but oh the joys of simply starting. A lot of days, I let regret fuel my fire. And eventually it became a wildfire. It consumed me! There was no way that my dreams would have stayed just that any longer. Lights, camera, action!

As I stepped off the plane in August 2019, I was in sheer shock that I was in Los Angeles for interviews. It was my second time ever in a city that I had researched almost daily. I was obsessed, but obsession gets you where you need to go if you channel it right. You would have thought I was the Joker because my smile went from ear to ear in amazement of my own leap of faith towards my destiny. Babyyyy you couldn’t tell me I didn’t belong in the Hollywood city. It was on! My hotel window allowed me to see the Hollywood sign for goodness sake.

Earlier in the year, I had a lot of “just do it” moments. Just go to Vegas, just go to the mountains for your birthday, just break up with your boyfriend. It went on to just go to the family reunion to Myrtle Beach, just book your first solo trip, just apply for jobs in Los Angeles. My second favorite was just go on your dream trip to Jamaica with the girls, which led to just climb a waterfall, drive ATV, and go snorkeling off of a party boat. It led to my ultimate journey to just pack your necessities and drive 26 hours to move to Los Angeles.

I don’t know whether to cry from all of this ACTION or call Nike myself so they can sponsor me. Either way, 2019 was a year for the books. I heard God speak to me more clearly about my destiny and when my first step needed to be taken. Well, I’m ready for the road less traveled. I’m okay with the crazy looks and many people questioning my sanity. Heck, I question it too, but I also believe God. That in itself is enough to keep me on this path towards greatness. I’ve gone from talking the talk to walking the walk. I’m ready to paint the city red, and by red I mean with the markings of BE SWEET.

Los Angeles has become a place where people come to be discovered. It’s obvious that it’s a place where dreams go to become reality since there are so many famous people living here. It’s not just actors, but writers, athletes, and many others trying to become successful in various ways. Although my intention was to come to this star studded city because of my writing and counseling, I’ve come to an even better conclusion. Moving to Los Angeles is a place you go to be discovered, but the person who discovers you is yourself.

When you move to a big booming city like L.A., you discover your true self. You see if you truly want it or not. You see if your work ethic is crappy or on point. You get to see what you’re truly made of. I can truly attest to that, even after only being here for 2 weeks. Coming from a small town to a world renowned city has been mind blowing. The things I’ve seen, the way people carry themselves, and the endless possibilities have been overwhelming. I can clearly see the difference between the South and the West.

Just going to the local Walmart had me saying aloud, Dorothy you’re not in Kansas anymore. But just like Dorothy, I too have to find my way through such a magical (at least for now) land. Unlike her though, I don’t plan on going back to boring Kansas…or in other words, home. I want to discover L.A. and all it has to offer. Different is okay if you make it work for your good. That takes talent, but it’s not impossible. Hence the millions of people here who haven’t left yet.

I will say the culture dynamics are a little off. Growing up in a predominantly white town, but in an all black neighborhood was actually a good set up for life. The mixture of ethnicities helped in being okay with talking to anyone. But out here in L.A., it’s different. You know the scene where the main character on “Get Out” goes to greet the other black guy with a dap? He quickly sees that just because they’re both black doesn’t necessarily mean they have something in common. That’s how it feels living in the San Fernando Valley.

I’m not quite sure why the black people in this particular area act funny, but it’s not going to stop me from being myself. I guess it’s just a Southern thing to say hello to people you pass by, especially if they’re black. Back home you make eye contact and you smile at another person. Here, everyone is in a hurry or afraid to acknowledge another black person, as if it will alert others to their true ethnicity. Fools, y’all are black! But I digress because I’m just going to have to venture out further south in the city to find my people.

It’s hilarious how I still feel like a tourist. I’ve been trying to see everything in the last 2 weeks as if I’ll be going back home soon. I’m intrigued by pretty much everything! I get that I’m on the Los Angeles high right now and eventually I’ll settle in and act normal. But for now, I’m going to continue enjoying this new land. I’m going to show them and myself what I’m made of. I’m not going to leave anything to wonder. Get ready y’all, I’m about to get the lights, camera, and action going for year 2020!