Every now and then, I like to hit the town and get on a dance floor. I have those moments when I want to get out of the house and be amongst a group of people who aren’t afraid to show their moves as we listen to the latest jams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to bust a move with friends or with total strangers. It may even be better for me with the strangers since I can’t dance. But I will say that I can’t and don’t want to party every weekend like I did in my 20’s. No one can ever say I didn’t know how to be a socialite, but now I think it’s time to reel it in at 33 years old. Oh crap, did I just say my real age?!

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that you need friends who like to do many different things. You may even need different sets of friends. That’s okay to have friends who like to party, friends from church, and friends who like to go out to eat. I recently had a vision meeting with a friend, and it really made me open my eyes to some things. Sometimes hanging with your friends, you get caught up in gossip, fashion, relationships, the latest television shows, and other things. We often forget to keep it real with our friends on the things that drive us. Truth be told, you can’t really have these kinds of conversations while you’re backing that thang up.

I propose we switch up our settings and topics of conversation. Instead of checking out the newest clubs, how about looking into a wine tasting party where you can sit down and chill. I guarantee you can get more concrete topics going if you’re in a quieter setting. This can be done at tea parties, book clubs, vision board parties, and things of that nature. The juicy gossip is fun and all, but you should know the things that drive your friends, their goals in life, and help them go after their dreams. I’m on this new Millionaire Status mindset, and I want my friends to win too. We just need to change some of our ways and come up with solid plans to become the greatest. Who’s Ready?

I remember my first flight so vividly, mainly because it was back in 2015. I was like that overly excited five year old who just had to tell the entire plane that it was my first time flying. I was scared to death y’all! I was slick telling them just in case I fainted or threw up, and they would have to get the flight attendants. We began to pull away from the dock (like it’s a boat) and I was like, okay we’re going really slow. I just kept thinking that we were never going to get up enough momentum with that speed. Then all of a sudden, we started to pick it up and I said to myself, this is what I’m talking about. And just like that, we were in the sky.

I began to think about how attempting to take action towards your dreams is like the takeoff of a plane. Before you get on a plane, there has to be an inspection of the functioning of that plane. Just like your dream, you have to do an assessment of all the pros and cons of going after something you really want. You can bring baggage, but you have to make sure it’s the right baggage (e.g. peace, kindness, love) or the things in them can be detrimental to your flight. You have to buckle up for safety and comply with all of the rules of the plane. You have to make sure you’re careful in life so that you do the correct things and follow the steps you’ve drawn out to be successful. Then comes the fun part.

Once you’ve gone over the formalities of the plane/dream, it’s time to slowly get situated to takeoff. You have to make sure the runway is clear, because there will be obstacles that try to stand in your way. Swerve on them, and get back to the road! Then gradually you have to get up the momentum to get going. You have to run towards your dream like your life and someone else’s depend on it, because it does. Someone is depending on your obedience to get over the fear and fly. You have to also make sure you have the right crew with you or things could get ugly. The people you have on the ride with you can make it pleasant or make it blah, but you have to choose wisely.

You have to ensure that God is your pilot, because he has the best navigation of all. He will take you exactly where you NEED to go. There will be a bit of turbulence, but you will surely get through it. One Bishop stated, “Turbulence is the price you pay for flying high.” If you truly want to get where you need to be, you have to get some altitude. You may even have to shift your weight/thinking to ensure the flight is smooth for soaring high. Just make sure that if you want a smooth landing, you hit the ground running and ready to pursue all of the great things that are available to you.

This past Sunday, I heard something that really stuck in my mind. The pastor said that not all of your close friends are in your life to please your ego. He stated, some people who are close to you are assigned to you because their betrayal will cause you to get to your destiny. It’s hard to fathom a close relative, friend, boyfriend, spouse, or sibling will be the cause of you getting so frustrated that you ultimately end up where you’re supposed to be. It almost makes you mad that someone who is supposed to care would do you wrong. It goes back to the point that just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you. Now what you do with that hurt is up to you. Will you harbor it for so long that you explode and do something you regret, or will you allow the pain to guide you to a higher place in life?

I have been hurt so many times by people I didn’t expect it from, that now I just have to shrug some stuff off. It’s always a surprise because I am so loving and kind to people, but I can’t let the faults of others stop me from living a happy life. Yes, it makes you have trust issues at times, but you surely can’t stop trusting everyone. I have seen so many people get cheated on by their spouses and end up better for it. It’s like they had a slap in the face and they decided to let the pain run its course and then make a total come back. But truly, things like that can lead you to another level in life. You can be of so much assistance to others when you simply tell your story.

It can hurt to tell people the things you’ve been through, but it can heal so many people if you muster up the courage to do so. We like to feel as if there is at least one person who has been through a similar traumatizing experience. It makes us feel as if we weren’t targeted and that there are other people who have braved the battle to give us strength as well. So much empowerment can come from a testimony where a person was knocked to their lowest and came out on top. Yes, it sucks being leveled to the ground, but the GLOW UP will show you how it was necessary. Your misery can truly bring you to your ministry, but you have to want it to. You have to make a conscious decision to bless others with your story. You have to be transparent and that takes guts. Be the superhero you needed during your hard time.

Over the years we have really put a lot of effort and time into social media posts. It went from the short casual answer to what are you thinking to extremely long posts that take forever to read. Somehow along the way, we have confused social with tell all. I’m the first to admit that I post a slew of information on social media, and I need to calm it down. But I have seen people who are worse than me. You can’t go without posting what you ate for all 3 meals, go live on any event, and post half naked pictures where we can see all of your tail. I think we need to be more cautious as to what we post because people are becoming more conniving and preying on us daily.

My dad is against social media to this day, always saying we put too much of our personal information online. Although I hate to admit it, he’s actually right. We tell the robbers when we’re on vacation and away from the house. We tell cheaters when we are having trouble with our spouses. We even let our haters know when we’re down so they can be happy about our downfalls. We do the absolute most! The thing that makes it funny is when we tell every little detail of our lives, then get upset when people are in our business. You literally just posted your supposed private business to at least 500 plus “friends.” Stop being silly.

I like seeing people post their accomplishments, newborn babies, pictures of them at the beach, and all of that happy stuff. I hate to see people go back and forth with others when we should know by now that people have the right to their own opinions. Social media can be uplifting, and in the same scroll depressing. We really do need to be careful of placing all the pieces of our lives on sites that don’t always have people with good intentions. It’s almost like setting ourselves up to get taken advantage of with some of the craziness we post. Let’s do better and continue to Be Sweet.

This blog is for the parents who have children in high school and college. It seems like you were just waving goodbye to them for kindergarten and now you have this semi adult who is destined for greatness. The possibilities are endless and you have to be confident that you’ve done your job as a parent and let go. Let them be more independent and start giving them more responsibilities as a high school kid. Because this message is mainly for the parents, we have to be honest with ourselves yet again about the child rendering process. I have seen and experienced way to often how parents can seemingly think they’re doing the right thing for their children, but they are really doing things to make themselves comfortable. Parents, you don’t have that frightened 5 year old entering the big kid school, you have children on the brink of adulthood. The last thing you want to do is force your children into anything they don’t want to do.

Let’s start with what your child wants to be in life. We have all asked our small children what they want to be when they grow up. Aside from Spiderman, you usually get the typical doctor, lawyer, teacher spill. Although those are all great jobs, there are other fields that are just as rewarding. It’s just that we tend to turn our nose up to careers like artist, music producer, or sculptor. This is a gentle, yet loud reminder that it’s not up to you what your child wants to be…even if you’re footing the college tuition. Forcing them to do what you want will be a waste of time and your money every single time. Parents who push their agendas on their children will result in resentment and your child will not be fulfilled. You have chosen your life, now let them choose their own path.

Speaking of letting your children choose their own path, don’t get mad when your child chooses not to attend college. I can honestly say without flinching that college is not for everyone. Some kids feel pressured to go because their parents make them or their friends are going and they don’t want to be left out. The most valuable piece of information you will get from this blog is that there are more entrepreneurs that are the billionaires. It sucks to admit it, but most doctors and lawyers won’t be the millionaires, but they will be well off…after paying Sallie Mae. It may sound messed up, but a person can never step foot in a university and start up their own business and be a success overnight. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to go to school for 4-8 years to be as successful. I’m not knocking them, I’m actually celebrating the fact that someone can use their creativity to make it big.

The reality is that you have to gauge your child’s work ethic way before they get to college age. You know if your child has what it takes just by seeing their grades in high school, if they need tutors, if they are lazy, and if they have skills that could be developed more in a trade school. There are beauticians, writers, singers, and all who are creative enough to go without a 4 year education. I always say that undergrad was for my parents, which is probably why I didn’t take it too serious. But grad school was all me. I made the conscious decision to go back to school because I knew I needed it to get more money in my profession. We also need to stop pushing NBA and NFL on our children instead of focusing more on the educational aspect of school. They can be smart and talented, which actually go together. Parents, chill and let your kids find their own career paths. They will thank you for it.

When I tell y’all I’m about to BOSS UP, I totally mean it. I have become a totally different person since April of this year. I have even scared myself at the progress and character transformation that has occurred. You know when you scare yourself, it’s something serious. I just feel as if I have been held down too long. The bad part is that I’ve done it to myself. That is the main reason reason why I owe it to myself to level up. My motivation level is through the roof. I feel as though when I’m pushing others forward, I get a push as well. I have found my true purpose and it’s always been encouraging others. A part of me has always been a motivator, and my career has allowed me to do just that.

Most people don’t know that Monica means counselor or wise one. I can honestly say that I have not always made the wisest decisions, but it’s never too late to start. The time has come for me to live out my destiny. No longer will I allow myself to be shorted due to fear. Fear has no chains on me and upwards is the direction my life will be going from now on. I want to pull this same energy and drive out of everyone associated with me. We cannot accept mediocrity when I know you have Greatness In You! We complain and we remain right in the situations we hate the most. It’s time for a change and I dare you to step into the fullness of your destiny, starting TODAY. This is a call to all the bosses to stop talking about it and be about it. Let’s Go to the top!

I was holding my 3 week old niece yesterday and I told her that I needed to inform her about some life lessons. The first thing I brought up was unhealthy relationships because you can never teach them too early. Of course she looked at me like why did my mother let you hold me, but it was a necessary and humorous conversation. I say that because no one had this conversation with me. I had to figure things out on my own and learn from others. Yes, my parents told us about not allowing people to mistreat us, but it was never in the form of close relationships. And we sure as heck never discussed how to demand respect from those we were dating. I will say that I had to learn that lesson a few times, but now I have it down and refuse to accept anything less.

I do understand that your relationships with close friends and family can be unhealthy as well, so I will start with those. People think just because you are family or that you’ve been friends with someone since grade school, that it is okay to allow boundaries to be trampled. I always say that if a person does not respect your boundaries, they don’t care about you like you think they do. A person who truly cares will respect you, support you, and lovingly redirect you. Bashing you in front of the whole family is not normal, it’s rude. Yes, this can go for parents, grandparents, and your favorite cousins. You have to let people know when you’re uncomfortable or they will ASSUME you’re okay with it. They may even try to laugh it off, but you have to stand strong against anyone who makes you feel less than or tries to shame you.

I can (and will, one day) write a dissertation about dating do’s and don’t’s. I have come to realize that love or lust can completely make us oblivious to right from wrong. A compliment or a sweet smile can just make us forget that we were ever wronged at times. But then we go back to the same issues because we never addressed them from the last time. That is why I am a firm believer in talking things out when there is an argument. You may need your time apart, but when you get through, we need to discuss what happened and why. It’s quite unhealthy that we allow love to blind us and we put up with things we normally would not. The day we love someone to the point we stop loving ourselves is the day we have a problem. When we are scared to talk about a problem thinking the other person will possibly leave, we have a problem. Just like you have boundaries with other people, you need to have them with your significant others or you can have a lifetime of pain.

Love covers a multitude of sin, but that doesn’t mean be stupid. We must remember that just because we love someone doesn’t mean that they won’t hurt us. Sometimes people have such a personality defect that they don’t even realize that they are hurtful with their words or actions. You have to be bold enough to stop letting people mistreat you. It may break up some relationships, but sometimes that’s needed. I wouldn’t want to be connected with someone who refuses to do me right because they think it’s funny or they think they are entitled because they’ve known me forever. Put an end to disrespect, ridicule, and downright meanness. You have to know that you deserve to be surrounded by people who truly care and don’t want to offend you constantly. Tell em’ to BE SWEET.

I could show you the sky from the highest mountain peak

I could take you to the depths of the sea to gaze upon its creatures

I could let you sip the finest wine from the best of vineyards

I could let you taste the best cuisine from a world renowned iron chef

I could fly you to the world’s best all inclusive beach-side resort

But the best thing I can give you is my love. You see, my love will have you thinking you can do anything. My love will outshine the moon and the stars. My love will keep you warm on the coldest of nights. My love will help you make the right decisions. My love will carry you when you feel down. I can’t wait to show you what real love is…

Just the other day, my 6 year old nephew was somehow startled by my sister and said “oh sh*t.” We were all surprised and asked him why he said it and his reply was that she scared him. We had never heard him say that, but he had to be informed that it was not right. You have to teach children right from wrong so they will know how to act when they get older. Now I’m not saying he will always act right when he gets older, but he definitely can’t say he didn’t know. This blog is dedicated to the adults (21 and older). This blog is about the fact that at this point in our adults lives, we just shouldn’t be doing certain things. Even if our parents told us or not, we have to take responsibility for ourselves now.

This topic popped into my head when I had to tell a 50 year old woman that she was acting like a high school kid. Now that may sound like I’m being disrespectful to my elders, but I was trying to shine a light on how she was behaving. Fortunately, it was well received. Hopefully y’all adults can take the points from this blog well, as being an adult is knowing your faults and changing them. I think we have forgotten that a simple nudge in the right direction is not a persecution. It’s okay that people want you to do better and push you in the direction to do so. It’s okay to agree to disagree if you think you got it all together. But I will challenge you to evaluate yourself as an adult for your betterment.

Here are a few things that one MUST know as an adult. Life just isn’t fair, so sometimes you just have to go on. We all may start together, but life will show up and we could very well finish at different times for our dreams and goals. Comparing yourself to others will keep you mentally drained. Love the ones around you while you can. Being petty isn’t cute or funny, so stop it. Everyone is not your friend, so stop with the thought that people won’t hurt your feelings just because you care for them. Family can sometimes be the ones who want to see your downfall so they can say they told you to play it safe. Do things when you’re afraid, either it will work or it won’t. Live your life for you and only you because in the end it only matters if you’re happy. Keep love in your heart, even when people try to pull the mess out of you. Just remember to always BE SWEET.

I had an epiphany just the other day. It slapped me in the back of my head saying that being single in this day and time is steadily looking rough. I think we get to a point where we forget what we deserve, men and women, and settle for anything that gives us a glimpse of hope. We get all googly eyed when someone has manners, as if that’s a superpower. We call up the boys when she is single with no kids, as if that’s a unique quality. We put a lot of weight on the things that were once the norm, but because society has stopped doing them, we are happy with just plain ol’ regular actions. He holds a door and gets a gold star. She has a good job and a red carpet gets rolled out. We have to get our standards up because it seems as if we are breaking our own hearts from them being lowered.

Lowering your standards can come in many different forms, such as the following:

• Having sex with someone just to keep them.
• Putting up with someone just for the sake of having someone.
• Being with someone just for the money, but they treat you wrong.
• Playing dumb just so you won’t outshine someone.
• Being with someone because they look good.

Just think back on the breakups you’ve in the last 5 years. Can’t you see in hindsight how you should have left them way before you did? Can’t you see how you probably didn’t spend enough time on the front end and how it affected the whole relationship? You let stuff slide thinking love would change a person, but a person only changes when they want to. I highly recommend that we give more thought to relationships in the beginning before we break our own hearts again. At some point in our ADULT lives, we have to take responsibility for our decisions or we’ll just be more miserable with someone than being alone.