We all know that one person who can act a plum fool at the worst times. It’s that uncle who gets drunk and starts cursing everyone out, or the cousin who is bipolar and starts telling the family’s secrets. Either way, you can never predict when this explosion will happen, so you worry about them often. In the celebrity world, one person who is unpredictable is Kanye West. Ever since his interruption of Taylor Swift, his actions have been very strange. Of course the death of his mother sparked a mental break, but he went into a downward spiral very quickly. To keep up with surprising acts, he recently formed a gospel choir that has been the talk of celebrity news and of church folks. No one saw it coming, but now that it’s here, some have been in awe and some not so much. He has taken the gospel world by surprise, and some people are questioning his motives.

The point of music, in my opinion, is to influence and entertain the masses with your talent. Most artists have yet to figure this out, which is why mumble rap still exists. I will admit that I liked Kanye West pre-breakdown, but I was never a huge fan. When I first saw a taping of his gospel choir, I was extremely skeptical. I even went as far as to ask what kind of ploy was he trying run on us. Keep in mind that I sing gospel and the choir was great, but in stead of enjoying it, I looked for a hidden agenda. I was being the judgmental Christian that I always dislike. The recent video of his choir singing at my friend’s church in Chicago made me open my eyes. He was just being another Kirk Franklin back in the day. When Kirk Franklin first appeared on the gospel scene, he was talked about negatively. Being a child, the music spoke to me, but not to the seasoned Saints.

I often say that we can miss the message due to focusing too much on the messenger. Even though we wouldn’t dub Kanye as a gospel artist per say, that doesn’t mean that he can’t have good gospel songs. Secular artists switch over and sing gospel all of the time, with KeKe Wyatt, Kelly Price, and Al Green being amongst the many. Kanye has some questionable acts, but this is not one of them. He is spreading the good news of Jesus around the world. The one truth we must agree on is that even if this is a ploy, he is still spreading the news of the mighty God we serve. It may not be the famous Marvin Sapp or Fred Hammond, but the same message stands. We as Christians have to understand that God can and will use anyone He pleases. It is up to us to receive the message. This requires spiritual maturity, which many of us lack due to judgement. Will you open your spiritual eyes and ears and receive it?

I went to Chick-fil-A yesterday and got the usual. I’m obsessed with their new mac and cheese! But one thing that never seems to surprise me is their superb attitudes, speedy service, and accuracy. Receiving the legendary “it’s my pleasure” just makes you feel good. Funny thing about it, it’s mainly teenagers working at most of them and they are still able to be the friendliest customer service chain in fast food. Meanwhile, you can call your local cable company when you have an issue and get the nastiest attitudes imaginable. It makes me wonder if any of us as adults could survive a day of being courteous as an employee at Chick-fil-A. I mean look at us now, we have nasty attitudes at work, gossip about our coworkers, and barely want to interact with actual customers.

At first I thought about how companies would run if we all took the Chick-fil-A training. I imagined that we would be friendlier, even if only for the duration of our shifts. Then it hit me! If someone is unhappy where they are (e.g. work, home, or school), most times it will show and no amount of training can change that. Take for instance the waitress who hates her job because she knows she should be doing something bigger. She has an attitude out of this world, gets your order wrong, and forgets you’re even there. I know that good work ethic should be enough, but when you know you should be somewhere else, you can’t help but be on edge. You want to be a nurse, but you settled for a customer service job you can’t stand and now customers are complaining about you every week. We have to get started on our dreams or we will remain miserable and living for the weekend.

The saying goes, do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. The fact of the matter is, you will be at your truest value when you are doing something you love. Everything else will simply just be a job that pays the bills. Wouldn’t it be great to be one of the few who love their jobs? That’s not to say a job you love won’t be stressful at times, but it will be more rewarding to you and those you serve if you truly enjoy it. Doing what we were purposed to do can change your life and the ones who are in need of your particular gift. I believe we are all pieces of one big puzzle. Not doing what you are called to do can affect the bigger picture. So tell me, what is your calling? Next, will you answer the call?

I think we can all agree that you can catch more bees with honey rather than vinegar. The unfortunate part about this concept is that the church doesn’t tend to use it when it comes to keeping or getting the millennials. This age group pertains to those who were born from 1981-1996, which is currently ages 23-38. Most like to think it’s the age group up to 18, but that’s a whole other challenge. Churches need to realize that the millennial age group is who they should be focusing on for several reasons. One of the most important reasons is that we will be their successors when the generations before them are gone.

One of the reasons I can write about millennials leaving the church is because I have seen a lot and heard my own friends discuss certain flaws of church folks. I understand that we’re a flawed people, church goers or not, which is why I have been able to overlook people and focus on the main goal, JESUS. One mistake churches have in influencing millennials, is that it seems to have a fishbowl mentality. No one is willing to get out of comfort zones to get the age group that will be the successors whether they like it or not. The Bible states for us to be fishers of men. When was the last time you saw someone fish from a fishbowl? I’ll answer that…Never!

Another reason millennials skip out on church is because the church isn’t willing to evolve. I understand that we shouldn’t be of the world, but the church does have the responsibility to keep up with society to know what will draw people in. Sorry to say this, but hymns won’t always do that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m old school Baptist and I love hymns, but my peers may not feel the same. The goals is to pull people in with something they can relate to. This can be done through fashion shows, gospel concerts, and young adult trips. You have to get them in with love first and foremost and not judgement. Remember, you didn’t come out the womb saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost.

One thing seasoned Saints have to keep in mind is that this age group is not without its talents. You have to pull on the strengths of millennials to get your church on a progressive path. These younger people are bosses on their jobs, heads of social groups, and entrepreneurs. What good is all of that talent when you overlook it? These people are changing the world, so imagine how much more it could help attract people to Christ. That is the common denominator, CHRIST. It’s not that millennials don’t love God, they just feel overlooked, judged, and looked down upon by the ones running churches. We have to bridge the gap by operating out of love because the world depends on it. Be Sweet.

Have you ever went to the grocery store hungry? You walked around and everything looked appealing to you. By the time you got to the register, you had a basket full of items that you didn’t really need and your total is astonishing. Well, it’s the same thing when you date while you’re broke. It’s like you forget any kind of standards and just start talking to anyone simply because they have money. I know everyone wants financial stability from a man that they want to marry, but this is different. At this point, you’re almost being a gold digger. And if any men are reading this blog, they are screaming YOU ARE BEING A GOLD DIGGER!

I know we have Meg The Stallion yelling at us to be all about the cash, but that’s not normal living. There’s no way you can possibly think being with a man solely because he has money will turn out good. Sure, it will start off nice, but then something will be asked of you. Most times it will be something you’re not willing to give. If that’s not the case for you, it will be mistreatment because the man is sustaining the entire relationship. Ladies, men do not like women who can’t or won’t contribute in any kind of way. Your good looks and sweet talking will get old, and I mean in age for sure. We need to get out of that mindset that men are okay with broke women as long as we are giving up the cookie. That’s not how the cookie crumbles sis.

Dating when you’re broke doesn’t look good on men either. Yes men, I rallied for you, now I have to speak up for my sisters. In fact, it looks even worse when a man is broke and living off of a woman. Eww! Yeah, it gets bad when a woman has to pay for everything and you are just sitting there at the restaurant looking stupid and not even willing or able to pay a tip. I had a guy say he was going to be short on his check, but was hoping that I could help him out. Hoping? Sir, I’m not the bank or your mother! There’s nothing worse than a man, of all people, looking for a financial come up through a woman. I seriously think dating while broke (DWB) is a big no no. You just can’t do what you could do if you were both financially able. Men shouldn’t have to pay for everything, and women need to learn to pay sometimes. It’s really that simple.

With all that has been going on with hurricane disasters, people have really been raising money and going to bat for those who have been affected. Churches, fraternities, sororities, local clubs, and individuals have been soliciting to bring aid to the people who are in need. Some have been doing it for the right reason, while others just for the attention. We all know those people who have to let the WORLD know that they gave to someone in need. I mean, they are dang near taking a photo shoot to show everyone their good deeds. If you have to broadcast to the nation that you gave your little funky $20, you may need to keep it. The fact of the matter is that people are already hard up for help, so telling of their need is embarrassing and down right shameful.

I don’t know if y’all have heard of the Christian comedian John Crist, but he always tells people to “check your heart.” Even though he does some very funny skits, the saying is very fitting for today’s society. Everyone wants to be glorified for simple acts of kindness. Why? It may be that checking your heart is extremely necessary for the ones posting multiple pictures of them volunteering or letting the masses of social media know they took time out of their not so busy day to do something good. It goes back to the saying that hell is full of well intended people. If you’re not doing it for the right reasons, what’s the point? I know the people in need are counting on us to help, but they still want and need their dignity.

Anyone who makes themselves look big while attempting to make others look small has some serious issues. I wonder if we ever stop to think about if we were in the shoes of the less fortunate. How would it feel to us if people were taking selfies at our lowest points? I admonish everyone to truly check your hearts to gauge your intent. Are you doing things because you want to outshine your friend who completed a volunteer program or are you really concerned about the welfare of others? We need to do this quickly because there are lots of people who need our help. As always, BE SWEET.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that my daddy is extremely hilarious. He says the craziest things and has the most boisterous and contagious laugh ever. But sometimes Ricky can make the silliest comments with the strongest meaning behind it. I remember when my sister and I were younger and he corrected us all of the time for grammatical errors. We couldn’t say “flo” for floor or any slang for the most part. We were so proper and he would always say that we should never fail English because we speak English. I used to disagree with that until I thought about what he way saying to us specifically. If you talk properly, you can pretty much be good with the English subject. In contrast, if you speak slang a lot, it can get a little rough because you tend to write how you talk.

I was laughing with my coworkers this morning about relationships. We were discussing how sometimes you will date a person who is a nice person, but is not the smartest. I started to ask myself if I could date a man who wasn’t up to par with his reading or writing. It sounds mean and it may be minor to some, but some people may not be able to handle it. It’s one thing to send text lingo, but to truly not know the correct way to speak or write is another. It makes you think, how did this person pass English in school. I mean, you had to take English EVERY school year until 12th grade! The fact that this particular thought popped in my head lets me know that I may not be able to handle that as well as I think. I want a smart man, both book and street smart.

I get that I may not be the smartest cookie, and not everyone will be a genius or scholar. But I do think that at my age, we should have some kind of education that sustains us. Scenario: What will I do if my mate is challenged in English and we’re at a date night where we play word games? Disaster! And I hate to lose at word games because that’s my thing. Surely I would have to carry us as a team. Again, maybe I’m meaner than I thought because I do want a man that can hold his own in many areas and this is one of them. I do believe that it goes back to what people want from a mate and that can differ for each individual. It’s the same for a woman who isn’t good at math and doesn’t do well with managing money. That can be a hindrance to a relationship if they have to put their money together. Either way, please don’t judge me for thinking this way, and if you do…oh well! Be Sweet.

Recently, I heard the speech that Angela Bassett gave to inform black women that we are Queens. She stated, “You are the descendants of royalty.” She made this reference to remind black women everywhere that we have worth, strength, and talents that are embedded inside of us, if only we’d tap into our greatness. She went on to say that we need to stop allowing people to downgrade us because we don’t act the way they assume we should. To even think that our counterparts have stuffed us into a box of this and that is hilarity. We can and will be whatever we want, especially when we have accomplished women such as Bassett and others that pull on our heart strings to strive for the best.

In case you didn’t know, there are many Black Queens in history that have done great work. With references such as Queen of Sheba, Cleopatra, and Nefertiti, we cannot forget that we once ruled nations. We can also see through names such as Rosa Parks, Michelle Obama, Harriet Tubman, Maxine Waters, Mary Church Terrell, and Mary Lou Allison Gardner Little that we are still encouraging women of color to chase their dreams and be whatever God created them to be. We must break the mold and become what is needed in our communities to aid our people and ultimately the world. Women of color have done so much to ensure success in others and we cannot stop because we are not afforded certain opportunities due to skin tone.

It is my belief that we must take a stand and create opportunities for ourselves. If we wait on others, that opportunity may not ever come. We have the know how and smarts to get whatever job done that is needed. It just takes willpower, grit, and grind to do so. I have seen women do just that with so little. Just take a look at your friends that are single mothers, but have successfully raised model citizens. Just look at that lady pastor that has helped her community through raising enough funds to send the less fortunate to college. Don’t overlook that CEO sister that has brought awareness through her work outside of the corporate world. Trust me, we have that IT factor to change lives for the better. What talent will you use, my beautiful black Queens, to make the world better?

This past weekend, I got to be apart of a great choir workshop. The workshop focused more on character than singing, implying that the two go hand in hand. The director asked a question that made all of us think. What is one thing you’ve been set free from? Of course, it’s been a few things, but a recent freedom popped up quickly. The answer was that I’ve been set free from fear of success. It may sound crazy, but success can be scary because it requires so much of you. It requires you to come out of normalcy and into a greatness that you have never seen and sometimes what you couldn’t even imagine.

When you’ve been living a mediocre life, success requires you to throw your comfort out the window. You have to forget your old habits and routines and get a whole new mindset. When you make up in your mind that fear won’t hold you back any longer, you believe you can take on the world. The funny part is, you just may be able to do that very thing. It’s all about what you want out of life and how bad you want it. Ask yourself, what do I want my life to look like when I’ve come to the end of it? If you see that you’re not even on that path, you get upset. I know I did, but I decided to be proactive and do something about it. I figured the wolf wasn’t as big and bad as I thought when I faced it.

When I reflect back over being scared of success, I chuckle to myself. To think of all of the things I’ve done that was extremely scary and really threatened my safety all in the name of fun, being scared of success is small. I’ve been zip lining in the mountains, snorkeling in the ocean, and even walked the most dangerous streets by myself. I guess the thrill of those things was exhilarating and in the moment, but success is a long term change. You can’t just wake up and say you’re ready for success and it lasts all of 30 minutes. You have to be willing to work for it and keep it up. That’s what I have been doing ever since I decided that I wanted to make MYSELF proud and truly change the world with my gifts. No more fear for me because I’m ready to excel and be prolific in life.

Most times, I can’t understand the words to rap songs. I just move my body to the beat because if I really stopped and listened I would be shocked at the nonsense they talk about. But every now and then, there will be a song that stands out even with the vulgar language. That song for me is “Clout” by Offset, specifically Cardi B’s verse. I’m actually starting to like her a whole lot more because the things she says are funny and true. People truly will do ANYTHING for clout. And the worst part is, social media is not making it any better.

I sit back and try to remember if people were as crazed for attention on MySpace as they are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. They probably were if there was any space to write how you feel. You would think with such a huge platform and audience, people would be using it to spread more good than plain ol’ stupid stuff. A person can post a great testimony of how they got over depression and will get 30 likes. Meanwhile, a girl can post a picture in a skimpy bikini and get 200 likes. The mindset of this society is absolutely astonishing and quite scary.

The lyrics state that “they” (don’t act like you don’t know them) say anything to get a response because their traffic is low. Haven’t you realized that one person that does the absolute most at least once a week? I guess they figure that they haven’t gotten the attention or likes they want, so it’s time to clown. It’s really funny when you see friends or family make up these elaborate stories online and you know the real truth. Oh, and don’t forget that one person who tries to bait you into an argument by trying to dispute any and every little thing. You could say the sky is blue, but they just have to throw in the scientific fact of how it’s really green. SHUT UP!

I really think Offset and Cardi B were onto something with this song. I really liked the part where she says that haters are acting like Brandy because they want to be down. This is one song that really tells it how it is. It may not be the most darling way to put it, but maybe they need to hear the harsh version. The sad part is that some of this foolishness people post can lead to fame. Truth be told, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame and the large audiences on social media can definitely give it to you. I suppose everyone wants fame, attention, and money…at least they think they do until they can’t handle it. It’s just the things we do to get them may not be the best. Oh well, please don’t do anything for clout y’all. Be Sweet.

Have you ever watched that show Snapped? It’s the one where the women have been wronged by a man, so they completely snap and end up killing the man. Sometimes I secretly root for the woman, even though I know that they have already been caught. Now I know that makes me sound a little crazy, but hear me out! It just sucks to see that the woman was doing all she could to show her love to an undeserving man. It’s only natural that some women will not take being abused, cheated on, or misused lightly. As the saying goes, it’s a thin line between love and hate. And to be honest, that song and movie are good examples of why men should not dog women and expect it to go over well.

Recently, I saw a meme stating that there’s a guy who is doing all the things a woman likes so that she falls in love with him. Then when the woman falls in love, the man up and leaves. It simply implies that the man has played the woman and had no intention on staying to make a relationship work. The caption shows the guy saying, “ight imma head out.” Well depending on the type of woman you’re dealing with, you may be heading out in an ambulance. The crazy part is, a lot of men go into these “situationships” with the mindset of not wanting it to go anywhere. Honestly, how are you buying roses, cooking dinners, and meeting friends, but have no intent to make anything official? It’s literally the reason for shows like Snapped and Murder in the Thirst.

When you play with someone’s heart, I somehow think that you have to be aware of consequences. What people have to consider is that some people won’t wait for karma to handle you, they want to get the heart breaker first. Obviously I don’t condone violence, but I’m not the one with a broken heart and I get that dating can be gruesome. Plus, I left my crazy ways in my 20’s! You live and you learn, but some lessons you shouldn’t have to learn the hard way. I think being honest up front allows both parties to make a decision as to where they want dating to go. So although this may be a lesson for the men, women need to take heed as well. Everyone can’t handle being mistreated in a healthy way. Just be careful who you try to run game on or simply stop thinking love is a game. Be Sweet.