If you want to know what’s going on in celebrity news, scroll down your social media timeline. I can pretty much get all of my content for writing on there. There’s literally something juicy that happens every day. The newest scandal is that of model Nicole Murphy, Eddie Murphy’s ex-wife. So many things went wrong in this one situation that I barely know where to start. In previous blogs and celebrity mishaps, you kind of had to fill in the blanks, but this was all out in the open…WITH PICTURES! This is text book of when you know you’re fine and think you can do anything, but it backfires. Ol’ girl really messed up and the media was right there to capture it. Stoooopid!

I suppose I’ll start with her and why she decided to be a home wrecker. You knew this man was married, yet you took your tail up to him and kissed him or you let him kiss you. That’s what started this, but defending your actions and saying he’s like family is sick. I don’t know ANY family member that I would kiss like this. Then you had the gall to say that you’ve been married before and would never “intentionally undermine another woman.” What does she suppose kissing a married man is, an okay thing? She definitely deserves all of the drama she brought on herself. LisaRaye McCoy is even coming forward with allegations and possibly proof that Nicole messed around with her husband as well. Girl, sit down somewhere!

The next subject I will touch on in regards to Nicole Murphy’s promiscuity, is how people have been condoning Antoine Fuqua’s behavior. There has been a lot of talk on how his wife Lela Rochon has let herself go, allowing her looks to be not as appealing as when they met. Because of this, mainly men have stated that it’s her fault that he cheated. What kind of society is this?! A cruel one, but I digress. Even though she doesn’t look like she did before, was that really a reason to cheat? People don’t always stay the same, and if he didn’t like her looks, he could have just left her. Was cheating publicly the answer? Cheating is never the answer in my opinion.

Things like this really let us see just how feeble minded our society can be. It shines a light on how we regard looks over a lot of things. Like was she a good wife, marriage vows, embarrassment, and many other things. For anyone to suggest his actions are okay because his wife is overweight, it makes me cringe. What are we teaching our kids? Obviously that looks mean Everything! I guess the lesson we take from this is look exactly how you did in the beginning of your marriage and you’ll be free from extramarital affairs. Sad!

The saying goes, you don’t miss your water until your well runs dry. Well, you will probably continue to be parched messing with me. I think it’s funny that you can have a whole relationship with someone and they never try to really work on things, but as soon as you break up, they want to check up on you. Why? I do not have to be friends with my ex! If the ex would have been friends with me DURING the relationship, you wouldn’t have to be doing 2 week checkups. I know a lot of people are friends with their exes and some even go as far as to say that it’s immature to not be able to be friends with them. But I beg to differ, why would I want to be in contact or friends with someone who mistreated me or didn’t value me enough to do right by me? Weird! Better yet, unhealthy.

I think people forget that doing what’s best for them is better than putting on a show. If my ex wasn’t for me, why do I have to still be in contact with them? If my ex was disrespectful, why would I subject myself to his presence or calls? I think that some exes use the being friends afterwards as a way to keep tabs on you or see how fast you’re moving on. No, we’re not all miserable since we’re not with you. Most of us THRIVE once we’re not in the relationship. Some even use it to try and get back with their exes and never change the things that messed up the relationship in the first place. Familiarity is not always the best thing for everyone, especially in the form of a hurtful ex. Don’t check up on me, don’t ask my friends about me, don’t stalk me in person or online, and don’t try to make me feel bad for distancing myself from negativity. How am I doing you ask? So much better now that I’m free from your mess! I have enough friends! I wish you well though. Be Sweet.

You ever just sit and think about life and how you’re more than ready for a change? I saw a post that asked a very thought provoking question: If life ended today, what would you regret not doing? The scary answer was A LOT. The reason this question hit me like a ton of bricks is because I have a very specific goal in my mind that I have been thinking about for the majority of this year. In fact, I have been stuck on this one goal for the last 4 years on and off. I recently decided that I owe myself this leap to show myself that I am strong enough to survive it. The thing is, I’m stuck between waiting patiently because I have done some work towards it, or go full force in making things happen and trust that God will see me through.

It’s confusing when you want something so bad and everything becomes a sign. I have seen some signs that scream wait patiently on God and I have seen others yell faith without work is dead. I am almost at the point of pulling my hair out because I have no clue what to do! I clearly realize that some efforts have to be put forth, but I understand that jumping the gun can be detrimental. I feel ready, but I do believe my fear is holding me back. Maybe I just answered my own question while typing at this very moment. We usually allow fear to stifle progress. I don’t want to end up being that person, especially when I’m so needing something new.

My goal is to relocate, specifically to the West coast. I try not to put God in a box, so I am always up for whatever He wants for me. I have definitely realized that my choices aren’t always the best, so keeping it open to relocation period is best. But I have had my eye on a specific place for the past 4 years, so I really think that God wouldn’t have placed it on my heart so heavily if that wasn’t a good decision. I wake up thinking about it and go to sleep thinking about it. I just want to ensure that I am going to make a decision that will help me go to the next level in life and increase my career opportunities. I do think I second guess myself and that has held me back in life, so I need to stop. I’m desperate for a change at this point in life, so maybe making moves is the game winning play. Keep me in your prayers.

It’s so nice to see my nephew be sweet to my sister at the tend age of 6. He’s always complimenting her and holding the door open for her, and he doesn’t do it so he can get something in return. If only they stayed that way! I will say that a boy who loves his mother is quite different from a mama’s boy. Example: A boy who can’t make a move without asking his mother for the next steps is concerning. A boy (even if he’s over 18) who allows his mother to dictate his life is very disturbing. I feel that it is very crippling for the man and sad for the mother of a grown man because the cord won’t be cut. A loving relationship between a mother and son is necessary and helpful as a boy transitions into a man, but sometimes it can go left.

Men often times treat women right simply because their mother instilled that in them. Then you have some who act like they never knew their mothers due to how they mistreat women. Sometimes it’s hit or miss. But this topic is definitely about the mother’s who won’t stop breastfeeding, metaphorically. I’m sure a lot of women are reading this, so my advice to you is to not let this be your son or he will be ridiculed. Just think of the men you dated and how you talked bad about him being a mama’s boy to your girlfriends over a bottle of wine. I once dated a man whose mother made him into a slave because he lived with her. It’s like she purposely didn’t want him to be happy because she did little slick things, like demand he come home to help her with everything even if she knew he was with me.

It’s a bad deal when your mother is running (or even ruining) your life, especially for a man. Then as a girlfriend to that kind of man, you make jokes trying to give hints on how weird it is, but sometimes they don’t get the hint. Then heaven forbid the girlfriend gets upset over the issue, because then it leads to you telling him he’s not standing up for himself and there’s an argument. Again, it’s great for a man to love his mother, but it’s awful when mothers take that as a sign to make them their slaves. Women hate to hear this, but YOUR SON IS NOT YOUR MAN! Mothers, don’t let this be you and wonder why your son can’t keep a woman. Sons, don’t let this be you and wonder why your dating life sucks.

Imagine taking a test over and over again and failing. You keep putting the exact same answers as the times before, knowing they’re wrong. Sounds crazy huh? Well, that’s what we do when it comes to many things in life, especially with love. Just in case you won’t admit to it, I will surely tell you that I’ve dated the same type of man a few times. I had to recently reevaluate the type of men I’ve been dating because I was tired of getting an F on the test. I like to get good grades and I was tired of the same heartbreak routine. You know the one when you cry your heart out, your friends tell you they never liked him anyway, and your family questions where the guy is when you have family functions. At this point, I’m tempted to never let my family or friends see anyone I date until I’m literally walking down the aisle.

I recently had a talk with one of the ladies I work with. What made the talk interesting was the fact that she is from Turkey. For that to be so far away from the U.S., it’s safe to say that love is a universal language. Even more so that we all go through the joys and sorrows of dealing with love in all walks of life. As we were talking, we discussed how there needs to be a “lid on love.” Now that may confuse some of you because we’re taught that love show be free and open, but stick with me on this one. I brought up the fact that in one of my relationships, I began to love my mate to the point where I forgot to love myself. The relationship was extremely stressful because I was letting all types of things fly. Smart remarks, slick negative comments, and a just down right mean attitude. It was all because I thought love came with all kinds of drama. WRONG!

In the words of the late great Whitney Houston, “I thought love had to hurt to turn out right.” Not that I thought this exactly, but I just figured that because I was so in love that I should overlook certain things. We tend to forget that love shouldn’t be such a task that we’re exhausted from it. And it should never be abusive in any form or fashion or it’s not love! I urge the singles to get a new mindset about love so we can be in healthy relationships and pass the test of love. No more settling, no more putting up with all kinds of behavior, and forgetting that we deserve to be loved in a special way as well. We have to put a lid on love even in marriages because your spouse shouldn’t have the right to mistreat you either. Love is supposed to be work, but it’s definitely not supposed to hurt. Be sweet.

I’m all about vacations and taking breaks. Most people think all work and no play is cool, but I on the other hand think that’s foolish. We work hard so we can enjoy things in life. A lot of people forget to just live a little. Recently someone suggested that I do a travel blog of my family reunion vacation with my dad’s side of the family, the Malone family. Because I want to be versatile in what I write about, I said why not. I’m going to break this down by days and show you why I gave Myrtle Beach, South Carolina a passing score for fun.

Day 1: Usually I’m all ready for vacations and whatnot, but I’m a true procrastinator. While my immediate family took a plane with a short ride of maybe 2 hours, my late self had to take the family charter bus. Even though it was cheaper, I had no clue it would take a Million hours. When I drive, I don’t like to stop for anything but gas. On a charter bus, they stopped 3 times. Now I’m glad I was able to spend that time with my Granddaddy because he hasn’t been out of town since my Grandma passed away. Once we finally arrived, we greeted the family and settled in to our condos. I will say Hilton beachfront resort (Kingston Resorts) was breathtaking and absolutely amazing. Luckily we were down the street from Walmart and we stocked up on snacks.

Day 2: We’ve been having family reunions all over the country for years now. Last year, my parents were the hosts, but this year they got to just sit back and enjoy. After cooking breakfast, we headed to the Broadway on the Beach, which was 20 minutes from our resort. We had so many things to do, such as a scavenger hunt, rides, restaurants, and zip lining. Afterwards, we went to a local restaurant and chilled as a family. Later that night, we all got together and had light refreshments and karaoke. It was hilarious to see the kids and adults sing popular songs…off key. We laughed the night away with laughs, songs, and miniature golf. My immediate family watched King Kong and called it a night.

Day 3: After breakfast, we headed to the beach for a family day in the sun. We stayed out on the beach for about 4 hours. We played in the ocean and the sun beamed on our skin until we were tanned pretty good. It was funny to see about 100 family members lined up in the sun eating lunch together. We had sand Pictionary, beach races, and relaxing on beach chairs. I was so happy to see my good friend show up to spend some time with me on the beach. After a Long Beach day and a quick nap, we headed to the famous boardwalk for more excitement. Ice cream, arcade games, and a huge candy store were true highlights of the day.

Day 4: While half the family went to church, the rest of us heathens went to Stack House for breakfast. I sat by my favorite great aunt and we discussed the importance of living and seeing what’s out there in the world. After the connecting, we got all dolled up for our sear sucker and sundress banquet. We talked about family history, gave out prizes, prayed, and decided that the next family reunion would be held in Ohio. I’m not the biggest fan of the pick, but that’s neither here nor there. I’ll probably still go and see what it has to offer. I took a quick 30 minute nap and was back at it with my nephew and cousins to the pool and back on the beach, which is where I am typing this as I lounge on a beach towel in the cool sand with a nice cocktail.

In conclusion, the trip was definitely worth a 5 day vacation. I got to enjoy my family, laugh a ton, and see a new city. The best part was the ocean scenery. I can’t wait until I’m living somewhere where the ocean is extremely close. It’s very soothing and it makes me feel happy. It also makes you think about life. I do hope that my next trip here will be more geared towards single adult fun though. Day 5 will be spent on the bus for HOURS, but at least I get to chill out and not work. Prayerfully this week will be nothing short of amazing and I’ll keep these memories for a lifetime. Thanks Malone Family!

I remember when I was in grade school and the whole class went on a field trip to see a Holocaust exhibit. It was absolutely horrifying to hear of the sad stories of families torn apart, never to see one another again. There were stories where bodies were piled up and burned afterwards, only to make room for another set of bodies. I thought Anne Frank hiding in an attic was pretty rough, but the exhibit displayed so much more horror than I imagined. They say that history repeats itself, and that is exactly what has been happening with the “detention centers” on the U.S. boarders lately. There has been this whole debate on the semantics of what it should be called, but even in detention one can get out. With that said, that may not be the best of words to describe such horrific events of people getting no hearing or chance at freedom any time soon.

I’m not one to chime in on political matters, but this is not a political matter in my opinion. This is a matter of humanity and I have a heart! And it probably touches a little closer to my heart because I am a minority in this country, twice. I don’t care if it was Trump, Obama, or the Pope who made the decisions, it’s all wrong. When we stoop to the level of holding people in overcrowded areas with insufficient resources, we have to think about how low we have dropped. To think that there are people who are upholding this decision really helps us to see just how bad off we are as a people. It’s heart breaking and down right disgusting to know that this is happening. When will it end?

I suppose it’s hard to see hope for our humanity when we have political figures who see nothing wrong with mistreating others. People who refuse to filter their racism and fly off the handle with any and every thought that crosses their minds. Then, they don’t get in any type of trouble because the ones supporting them don’t have a backbone. It’s sickening to think that people have died in the horrifying situations at the borders of a country that supposedly is the land of the free. Makes you ponder on what we’re really free from. Could it be that we’re free from having a heart for the decent treatment of all? I hate that this has become a race issue because there is ONLY ONE RACE…THE HUMAN RACE! Ending this with my signature “Be Sweet” would an understatement. Maybe I should say have Compassion because we’re definitely lacking in that area.

They saying imitation is the highest form of flattery. Everything and everyone looks alike these days. If you ask me, imitation is just a loud way to be unoriginal. It’s like these songs that sample from old school, but their version sounds watered down most times. That’s what I don’t like about a copy cat, it’s a watered down original. I wonder why it’s so hard to just keep it real and tap into what’s within.

Being original requires you to go deep within and pull out things you probably didn’t know were there. You have to dig deep and get in a zone that pushes you to another level. We all have it in us, but very few will experience it. That may be because the idea of seeing what’s within can be scary. You never know how your creativity will be perceived by others. You have to be willing to take a chance. Most are secure in their limited imitating.

Once a person is beyond the scared point, they see endless possibilities to what they can create. Sometimes it flows out of you like lava onto a painting easel or on a notebook. It can sometimes amaze you what you’ve been keeping hidden from yourself and others. But once it’s out, let it stay free. Let it engulf you, let it get into the air and intoxicate someone else. That’s what creativity and originality are supposed to do. It’s the reason I write, I sing, I am. Release it!

If you have a flat tire, you wouldn’t call your mailman to look at it. If you had a broken leg, you sure wouldn’t call your landlord (unless she moonlights as a doctor). I know we have come accustomed to asking for advice from any and everybody. I mean, just take a look at your social media timelines. People have replaced expert advice with that of popular opinion. It totally makes sense as to why the society is the way it is, a hot mess. We get the information we need from a site that sends fake news almost daily. Funny, because we get fake people to help us make important decisions in our real life as well.

When you go out of town to a place you’ve never visited, you try to ask the locals where to go. You ask them for directions because they are familiar with the city. Stay with me, I’m going to take you somewhere. When you are on a new journey in life, you need to consult with those who have been where you’re trying to go. As my Bishop would say, I’m preaching better than you’re saying Amen. It’s cool to have friends who want to give their input, but you need to be connecting with some experts. Nurses ask other nurses for advice, not chefs or beauticians. Women are definitely known for getting the 411 from a local beauty shop, but not everyone has your best interest at heart.

When you’re ready for an upgrade in life, you change your mindset and actions. People who are not used to that side of you may think you’re acting funny. But the truth is, if you want different, you have to be different. My favorite saying is “if nothing changes, nothing changes.” If you want to be one of the best, you have to be in the midst of those who are the best. Trying to figure it out with your BFF or boo isn’t always going to work. As I stated in one of my previous blogs, if you hang with four millionaires, you’re bound to be the fifth. You have to ask yourself how bad do you want it. So instead of clicking the recommendations link on Facebook, network with someone who has been down the road you are traveling. You’re bound to have a scenic route to success.

Most people who know me can tell you that I love going out of town. When you see that #BentleyGirlsVacay floating around social media, just know I’m about to go on an adventure. I actually have two vacations coming up, one to Myrtle Beach with the family, and another on my DREAM TRIP to Jamaica with friends. I’m so excited about Jamaica that I’m sure I’ll cry because I’m a cry baby. One thing I’ve realized is when to take a break. I don’t have to have enough vacation hours and I don’t have to have a lot of money saved, I just need a way to my destination.

I thank my cousin Renata for being that person who will make me want to get out and live. Of course, I have always traveled growing up and I am grateful that my parents wanted us to see what was beyond my hometown. Road trips and hopping on a plane are now apart of me. I have seen what not taking a break does to me, and that’s an ugly picture. I had to remember that if I don’t take care of myself, no one will. Work can wait, friends don’t have to go, and I can explore or relax. People who say they don’t need to take a break have this thing all wrong. Working yourself like a slave is detrimental to your mental health as well.

All work and no play sounds stupid as heck. I mean, what’s the point of working if you don’t get to enjoy the fruit of your labor? Life can’t always be about making money. It’s the equivalent to owning a Lamborghini and never driving it. Weird! Most people know that you can do your best work after a mental break. You can dig into your creativity when allow your mind to just be at ease and free. Don’t work yourself to death because when you die, they will have your job posted before the end of that day. Take time for yourself even if it’s not an actual trip. Get a massage, treat yourself to a fancy meal, upgrade your pedicure, take a “me day.” Give yourself a much needed break.